It's February!

As we enter into the second month of 2018, I'm looking at what is to be done. Being bipolar with anxiety and arthritis this month sucks. January I completed only a few tasks out of 25. I managed to read A book, cook meals, kept up with dishes and folded laundry when it was brought home. Things I didn't get done that NEEDED to be done: read 5 books, write every day, lose 2 pounds, cut back on soda, drink more water, cut down on smoking and staying calm when kiddo-2 acts out.

I know what you are thinking, I wanted to do more than I should have. Though I think all were reasonable. I'm not too upset I didn't complete January's to do list. This month will be better I hope.

Mental Issues
1. I went to therapy and just bitched about kiddo-2's behavior. Mainly the fact that when I try to remove myself from the situation she follows me, even outside. Therapist had no ideas for me, as usual.
2. I saw my shrink. We decided that I could go 2 months between visits rather than 1. I was also given the go ahead to wean myself off the primidone. That means dropping from every night to every other night for 2 weeks then off them completely. As I have said before my shrink has the confidence in me to control my meds myself. I tried to go off  keppra, but that didn't work well. That means I am staying on it. So far the primidone cut hasn't given me trouble.
3. I managed to socialize with my neighbor, lets call her P. P had an incident that I know will effect her forever. I went through it a long time ago. We hadn't talked much other than the hello in passing. Now we talk 4-5 times a week. She has bipolar, OCD and anxiety too.
4. I made several healthy dinners and made sure there was leftovers to take to my other neighbor, the shut-in. Lets call him S. S doesn't like being around anyone and he doesn't cook other than toss it in the oven crap. I just knock, he answers and I hand him the container. That's it. I go home... walk 3 steps to my door.

Writing
I didn't even come close to me writing goals. I started Midnight Whispers over and am stuck. I tried to edit Dalara and just couldn't get into it. I had hoped to have at least 10,000 words done. Though with everything going on I understand why. When I'm stressed I can't focus and I'm trying something new with Midnight Whispers. Oh, and I've been sick for 2 months or more. Now that I'm better focus should come soon.
Here is my February goals:
1. Re-setup Scrivener for Midnight Whispers
2. Write 15,000 words of Midnight Whispers.
3. Edit at least 2 chapters of Dalara.
4. Get Inevitable Destinyz off to a beta reader & editor.
5. Research self-publishing again
6. Get Aeon Timeline set up for Midnight Whispers


Reading
I finished "When Darkness Comes"  by Alexandra Ivy. It's the 1st in her Guardians of Eternity series. I have read it several times and I love it more each time. This month I plan on reading the next 4 in the series.

Other Goals
1. Make freezer meals (Feb. 2nd & 3rd)
2. Cut down o soda
3. Drink more water
4. Keep the living room clean
5. Crochet a bit

That seems a lot but it really isn't. I know if I set my mind to them all I can get them all done. Remember, when setting goals make them small and simple. Even 1 small thing completed will make you feel better.

The New Year

Today is the first day of the new year. Many are planning on making changes in 2018 & hoping for things to change n the world. No matter what we do 2018 can be a start of something different. I have never done a New Years Resolution but this year I'm going to try.



Writing/Reading

• Write 150 words daily (2017- 250 words)
• CampNaNoWriMo - April & July 25k words each (2017 completed)
• NaNoWriMo- November 50k words (2017 completed)
• Blog at least twice a month
• Goodreads Reading Challenge 100 books (50-100 yearly & make it)

Eating Habits

• Eat healthy with more home-cooked meals (2017- too much pizza & chips)
• Cooking- Make crock-pot freezer meals every month (2017- Only 2 months)
• Drink more homemade fruit infused water (2017- drank too much soda)

Hygiene/ Mental Health

• Take showers every other day (2017- bathed every night but washed hair once a week)
• Take medication every day (2012-2017 completed) Medisafe app helps
• Keep all therapy & shrink appointments (2015-2017 completed)

Cleaning

• Do dishes every day (2017- once or twice a week)
• Vacuum once a week (2017- twice a month)
• Fold laundry when it's done (2017- folded once a month)

As you can see my goals are not to hard for normal people. I'm not normal at all. With bipolar I have a hard time doing things like housework and cleaning. Add to it that when I don't clean for a day I get anxious and have no idea where to start or I start something (like dishes) and never finish them.

Prep-Tober Time!

What is prep-tober you ask. It's the October which is the month to prepare for November's NaNoWriMo (50,000 words in 30 days). This means I will be setting up my NaNo project, researching and planning all kinds of other crap. It's also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which my mom died from breast cancer. So, STRESS is going to be high. Then add in kiddo-2's issues and kiddo-1 constantly getting hurt by accident (torn ACL, car accident & spraining his ankle). I'm gonna split up each issue in this post.

Prep-Tober

I have begun to get my characters in order with names, DOB's, likes, dislikes, etc. Aeon Timeline is started as well. I have the start of my species and DOB's put in as well as the start point of the story.  Next step is to set up my Scapple mind-mapping.
This story is going to be about non-sparkling vampires and shifters mixing with humans. Always fun. I'm not really sure how the species are going to mingle but they will at some point. Since I'm a pantser (non-planner), I never know where the characters will take me in the end. I know there will be certain humans that can mate and have offspring to each species. How this will happen or how they know is still lost on me.
Working title is  'Midnight Whispers'. My main characters are Abigail (human) & Elyan (vampire). Elyan owns and runs a security firm named 'Trinity Security'. His business hires only the best: shifters, military, NSA, CIA, FBI, and martial arts experts to train. Abigail is a labor & delivery nurse at the major hospital. She works 40-80 hours a week and has little time for anything outside work. Elyan becomes infatuated with Abigail. She's leery about him, of course.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 36. I was 18 and didn't know what was really happening because she hid most of it from me. I knew she was having chemo but she had no side-effects. 9 years and 9 months after she was deemed in remission it struck again. They hadn't put it in total remission, it spreed to her liver and brain. I split from my husband at the time, moved in with her, her husband and my 2 kiddos. My son was 5 and my daughter almost 1. My step-father worked, I went to school and took care of my mom's appointments and treatment. After a year, the cancer was so wide-spreed in her brain the chemo would do nothing and radiation wasn't working. Mom decided to stop treatments. Even though it killed me, I supported her choice. It only took 3 months for her to pass. I kept her home until  a few days before her birthday, which was Nov. 14th. We put her in a hospice type long term care. 2 weeks later, the day after Thanksgiving she passed. Exactly 2 weeks after her 47th birthday. 

Since I was 29 I had to wait a year before my insurance allowed mammograms. I have had them once a year for 14 years now. A few years they had me doing them every 6 months. This means I've had 18 mammograms before I was 41. I have been finally cleared to go 18 months between, unless they find something. I have many fibroids that it makes it difficult to read the mammograms.

PLEASE get your boobs squished. 

Recommendation is 1st mammogram  at 40 and every 2-5 years after that. I have breast cancer on both sides of my family tree so I'm at higher risk. My daughter will be getting her 1st one at age 20, this is because my mother was so young when she first had hers and my daughter tested positive for the inherited gene as I have. We have also been told to get pap smears yearly since there is a higher chance of us getting ovarian or cervical cancer. 

Stress

My daughter thinks she's 'in love'  with a boy that's 20 and she's only 15. He's been convicted of  a class D felony and is facing charges for a class C felony. It's illegal for them to have sex, though they have admitted they had sex last November, which means she was only 14 at the time. There is nothing I can do to keep them apart unless I catch them having sex or she tries to run away with him. Though today she has told me that she wants to go out for the drill team and help out at the largest haunted house in Iowa. She's worked the haunted house for the past several years. Her counselor says her getting involved with these activities might help her stay away from the boy. Since he is out for preliminary, meaning he is under house-arrest. He has no phone nor internet so there will be no contact, but I worry all the same.

My son, 20 years old, has had a hard year bringing me down with him. April 30th he tore his ACL playing basketball, July 21st he was in a major car accident, and now he sprained his ankle playing basketball. He was off work for awhile, I bought food and helped him out with getting his bills paid. He's bipolar and non-medicated at the moment. Imagine 2 bipolar people in the same place for long periods at time, especial when they usually set each other off. Yes, I take my meds daily as ordered but he doesn't. It sets off my anxiety and a depressive mood. It took me a week, a full week, to get dishes done. I'm hoping that now things have settled down and he's back to work I'll be able to get back on track.

Another stress is that my disability hearing should be coming up in the next few months and I'm worried that they will find some reason to deny me again. I haven't been able to work for almost 10 years now. Add to that we have a unit by unit inspection for house cleaning in a few weeks.

That's what's going on. I'm handling it much better than I thought I would. Many are impressed that I haven't hurt anyone yet. Today I managed to get most of the kitchen clean and yesterday I cleaned my room. It's progress and I'll take it. Every accomplishment is an achievement. Bipolar, depression and anxiety is a day to day, minute to minute living.