Saturday, July 30, 2016

Oops! Too Many WIPs

Today I was organizing my Scrivener files and making sure they were all named by the MC (Main Character). I didn't realize I had so many started and not past the first few chapters. SO, being OCD I decided I will NOT start another one until I finish half of them. I do have 2  I'm editing, which means they are written but need some TLC. You can see them all in the photo here. It's my Scrivener files.


I'm hoping my brain will do as I want it to. It keeps jumping in with new story lines and characters. I guess that's part of being extreme rapid cycling bipolar disorder.

Once I put all my WIP into Aeon Tmeline 2, I found the gaps. That made me even more determined to finish them. I love that I can nest every event in each WIP, I can see where the gaps are. I can open them all and see where I need more stories at the bottom and top.


With taking my max dose of meds and staying inside so I don't have issues with my neighbors; I should have plenty of time after all my appointments. I may not like being forced to stay inside due to my anxiety and bipolar but it doe seem to get me writing and the house clean.


Excerpt of New WIP (Work in Progress).
Remember it is the 1st draft.

Morgan was running through the woods as fast as she could carrying her young. She knew they were coming for her, to take the baby away and impregnate her again. They were using females as breeders and sending the young off. After weeks of planner she finally escaped with a few other females, though she hadn’t seen any of them for days. Another branch smacked her in the face while holding the little one as close to her body as she could. Stopping near a small stream Morgan inhaled trying to smell if they were still following her and if so how close. Signing in relief, Morgan walked to the edge of the water. Setting the little one down on soft sandy bank, she drank the water as fast as she could. Not knowing when it’ll be available again.
© 2016 Jessica Markley


Friday, July 29, 2016

Weight Loss Struggle

Weight is a large problem in the United States. I see many children over weight or obese. It breaks my heart. No days children sit and play video games and eat unhealthy snacks all day and after school. I understand most households have both parents working at least 40 hours a week and I know it's necessary. Quick fast-food, chips, candy and other store bought fast meals are easier and less time-consuming.

My Story

I've been overweight for 13 years, since the birth of my daughter. I have no self-esteem issues but losing weight is something I am working on. It's a struggle since I can not exercise like many programs want you to, nor can I afford the proper food (costs are too high).
I used food to make me feel better when I was depressed. Many people do and I don't judge. I was never into much candy but chips and dip were my go-to food.

After my son was born, fast-food was easier when I was working. It was also easier to plop my son in front of the TV when I was having a depressive day. I was lucky that he had a fast metabolize and didn't gain weight like others would. As for snacks back then it was fruit snacks with all those nasty ingredients. I didn't know what I was doing to my  and my son'd body by doing this.

Once my daughter was born we found out she is allergic to dairy. Bye-bye dip and many of my favorite chips, not to mention most of the boxed cake mixes, brownies and cheesecake. Did you know that pre-packaged sliced meats can have hidden dairy? I didn't either. I had to read every label and found ingredients I couldn't pronounce. That's when it hit me. I was cooking wrong.

I had never allowed my kids to have caffeine nor candy except on special occasions (Halloween).  Back then there wasn't Pinterest or Google so I went to the library and checked out tons of recipe books and tried to make everything from scratch like I learned when I stayed on the farm every summer as a kid. It was hard, time-consuming and expensive. So I went back to fast-food. Though I did make sure there was no dairy in anything. That back-fall was due to the fact I went back to school and started working full-time.

When I was forced to stop working because of my health; I returned to trying to eat healthy. I cut the kids' soda intake to a 12 pack a month and one bag of chips a month. Though I stuck to my Mt.Dew® every day. I started using frozen vegetables instead of cans, fresh cut meats and local produce. I lost a little weight and my kids stayed healthier. Once a month the kids got to choose a fast-food place... Guess what it was. Subway. Talk about healthy eating. Their meat has almost no dairy (depends on what you order).

My son & I suffer from migraine. After some time I found that aspartame was a trigger. It's in tons of things from gum to diet soda. Once I cut it out and taught my kids to look for it our migraines weren't as frequent. Once you read the link above you'll understand. It's terrible on ones body.

The past 3 years I have been more health conscious. I make HOMEMADE crockpot freezer meals. It took some time to find ones both my kids could and would eat. I stopped buying the packets of seasonings (making my own). I cut down on my soda and the only chips I buy are corn chips or SunChips® .

Last summer I jumped into the new fad of fruit infused water. The ones you buy at the store I couldn't drink (caused migraines) so I bought infusion water bottles and started making my own. It surprised me that I drank less soda and smoked less. I also lost around 10 pounds in 3 months. I added fresh smoothies every morning (with spinach & soy protein). Both helped me feel energized. I was able to cut down my mood stabilizer a little bit and stop taking my sleeping medication. (See doctor to change medications).

Of course when winter hit my water intake dropped and more soda was consumed.

I read "Big Girls Do It Running" by Jasinda Wilder a few days ago. She makes it simple and easy to change the way you eat. It's also an easy read and she doesn't toss in a lot of technical babble. You don't have to change everything all at once. Because of Jasinda I got back into my water and smoothies. I have been cooking healthier for years but water intake is important. I plan on keeping up with my water intake and cooking healthy throughout the year this time. In the last few days of drinking the fruit infused water I have seen a change in my energy level. Not much but enough to keep up on housework when I'm not in pain.

In short, I drink homemade fruit infused water, fresh smoothies, fresh & frozen fruits & vegetables. I buy my meat from a meat market and make my own seasonings. I add lots of onions & garlic to my food rather than salt (except baked potatoes). Broccoli is a major vegetable I use. Since my son moved out my daughter & I have been eating vegetable snack.

Our apartment complex has a huge garden this year and I plan on making homemade canned spaghetti sauce, diced tomatoes, tomatoes sauce and of course salsa since the girls love it.

Disclaimer; I'm not a doctor nor am I an expert. If you feel you have weight issues please see a doctor.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Stress of a Bipolar

Never say "I can't get any worse." Because it can. This week has proven it.

Monday I had my yearly mammogram. Yes it hurt, but it's a necessary for me. My son got hurt at work and has cuts & scrapes all over his face, arms and legs.

Tuesday radiology called and said they needed more angles and a ultrsound. I get to wait a week & a half before I can get the tests done.

Wednesday I had my blood tests for everything you can imagine. Found out my PAP from the week before, came back abnormal and I'll have to have them done every 3 months until it's normal. Blood tests are good except my white count cells. Which means I go back on antibiotics & antivirals. This means my bipolar meds and mood stabilizers will work less. I had to send my daughter back to her grandma's because I won't know when an anger episode will hit.

How I'm dealing with it...
I'm not. My mom and paternal grandma died from breast cancer and I'm a cervical cancer survivor.  I can't focus. So far I have watched Charmed since Monday. It's seems to make me feel a bit better.
I have written very little. Though I have plotted several books out, if I ever get to writing again. I'm glad I finished CampNaNoWriMo before all this hit. I managed 30k in 20 days.


There have been a few good things in the last week:
Saturday: My daughter and her friends, my gaggle of giggling girls, spent a night. I love having them here, they talk to me about everything from friends to sex to things they shouldn't do. It makes me feel great they feel they can open up like that to me.
My son and his friend were also here. They were in and out of the apartment but, took me to the store.
Both groups of kids gave me hugs every time they came in and out. Hugs make you feel better.
A good thing is I have the money to pay ALL my bills for next month without borrowing. That relieves some of my stress. I also have a bit in savings still. You can't imagine how much a little thing like being able to pay bills.

Today I felt a little better and made up beef stew in the crockpot.