We don't celebrate Christmas in our house so I'm making cheesecakes for my friends' holiday celebrations. I've cleaned the living room, did dishes, swept floors and dusted. Then my ex-boyfriend messages me on facebook. He's in an emotional tornado and wants my help. Guess what I agree to. I have him coming over to talk. How stupid can I be. The only time we talk is when he is having problems. If I had a doctorate I'd be getting paid tons of money for this. Why do I always help him and a few others like him? Is it because I know I can or is it a deep seated wishing I had a boyfriend? I have learned from mistakes that I do NOT need a man to have a fulfilled life. My mom thought she needed to stay with an abusive man to be happy. It tore her heart out in the end. I knew then I would never need a man. I still ended up in a few relationships that were just for companionship. Guess some of us have to learn from experience.
Well, my ex is coming over and I will talk with him. I'll remember all the reasons why we are no longer together and forbid myself to get attached again.
I'm going to spend the next week looking at my mistakes and triumphs to better understand myself. I need to lose weight, eat better and get a handle on my emotions before I fall apart. My resolution for 2015 will be:
Take meds every day(I do it now)
Exercise
Write
Read
Cook healthy meals
Not look out the window and wonder if the grass is greener on the other side
Talk to my kids rather than speak at them
These should help me with all my issues.
Look for excerpts after the new year. I promise you ate least one.
Happy Holidays!
