Middle of July

CampNaNoWriMo July edition is half over and I have already reached my goals. The sad thing is that it'll all get archived and forgotten, probably for years. It sucks, I hate it but at least I got words down. With that said I have come up with a novella series and I'm working on it. This series will out of my norm cause it's not about shifters but non-sparkly vampires. They will be fast paced and of course have naughty-naughty scenes. I might even self-publish these before I do anything else. Yes, I haven't published anything yet, truth be told only 1 person has read my works. Though it is understandable with my anxiety and OCD (obsessive compulsion disorder). I hyper-ventilate just thinking about someone reading my stuff.
So far the main characters are named; banana, orange and plum. I haven't found a name that fits their personality yet.

SO, with all that said, why do I write?

Well, I started out writing for my daughter and to keep me busy without a job or internet. Kiddo-2 read Twilight in kindergarten. By the time she was in 2nd grade there were almost no books she could read that didn't have sex in it. I wrote and wrote for over a year and ended up with over 180k words. Once I started reading more I found a new genre to write and with a lot of sex. I've gone back over my 1st work and it'll take tons of editing. Too many main characters and their situations. I just haven't found a way to split it up since it all happens at the same time and I love my characters.
My adult characters are keeping me fairly sane and it's the reason why I am still writing. Like I've said before writing is a thing therapists suggest for certain things. For  me, it helps. I have met others it doesn't work.

Update on Kids

Kiddo-2 is spending time with grandma and hasn't been too bad. She calls every day and we talk. We have agreed she has to  spend a weekend home this month and she chose the last one of course. I talked to her supposed-ex-boy-friend and jumped his shit for what he did while kiddo-2 was hiding. She is going to therapy and talking to the behavioral therapist as well. She really wants to come home and be the girl I knew before this last November.

Kiddo-1 has just begun to kiss my butt. After over a month he decides he needs his mommy. Yep, I knew it was coming. He has apologized for causing trouble and of course he needed help buying food. Yes, I've helped him a tiny bit but nowhere near as much as I did before everything happened.  I have split feelings about him being in my life. I love him, there is no question in that. I just don't know if I can trust him. I'll make an effort to keep him in my life as long as he continues on his current choice. He has admitted that his un-medicated bipolar played a part in the whole situation. This was something I already knew but for him to admit it was a huge step. He has set up an appointment for the end of the month to get back on meds. I'm not holding my breath that he'll take the pills but I can hope.

Disability- Money-Bills

My disability claim should be going to court in the next couple of months. I know I'll end up getting it but it is stressful. I check my e-mail several times a day hoping that my attorney has sent me a date for court. I wish it had already been approved since the system messed up my paperwork for state assistance for the 3rd time in the last 18 months. I usually get the money on the 1st of every month but for July I haven't received anything yet and won't until the 24th. Luckily my ex-MIL helped out with bills. I'll pay her back when I get the money. I'm hoping soon this crap will be done with and I won't have to worry about the paperwork every 3 months.

Neighbors

This apartment complex sucks ass. I have an anxiety attack every time I have to take out my trash or check the mail. I have been waiting until dark to do either. Though this last week I sat outside with 1 neighbor and her kids... well kiddo-1 was out there too. Staying inside cause of idiots isn't healthy but soon I'll be able to afford a different place. I try and go over to one neighbors once a week for a bit and have kept to it for 5 weeks.

I am not a doctor or therapist, seek a medical professional if you have thoughts of suicide, homicide, or any other health issues. My words should not replace a professional's advice.