Disappearing Into My Own World

As this month comes to an end, I look at all I have accomplished. Finishing NaNoWrimo was at the top of my list. That and fall cleaning my apartment. Now I'm feeling the loss of my mom. After 11 years you would think I'd function better than I am. Last year I did great, better than any other year. Now I'm struggling. I think it's because this year the dates are lined up as they were in 2003. Mom's birthday would have been the 14th and she died on the 28th, the day after Thanksgiving.

To make matters worse, I have people complaining that I'm refusing to go to any Turkey Day dinners (my kids are though). I don't like to socialize as it is, what makes them think I want to spend time with ones that remind me this time of year is my mom loved. I just want to drown in my writings. Writing helps me deal with all the stresses that come from being a single mother with little money.

I'm editing 'Dalara' and working on one without a title. No, it's not my NaNo one. The plot bunnies (something that keeps your mind running with ideas) are making it hard not to start another one. I have no idea where it's going but I'm liking it so far. I think it'll be the 3rd in the 'Tamesville' series.

As the weather here in Iowa grows cold snowy and windy, I am hurting. Many of my joints are inflamed, causing me pain. I wish I had the money to move south. My health gets worse as the temps drop and I can barely function. I hate not being able to do things with my kids. We usually sit watch Neflix or a movie, if we do anything at all together. They are gone over school breaks and weekends; Busy with friends and sports every other time.  At times I feel as if I'm failing them. Then I think other times I'm doing good. Neither of my teens lie, drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything teens experiment with. Curfews are always kept.

I signed up with Critique Circle. It's a web based site set up to help writers achieve their goals and better their writing. This will be a major step for me. I'm one who does not like other to read my work until my OCD thinks it perfect. My fear is as many new writers, the novel sucks. Hoping joining will push me past this.

I hope everyone has a happy holiday.