WARNING! This post may trigger those who have been abused.
This post will be totally scrambled due to a mini manic episode.
Depression- I can just sit in my chair ad stare at the computer screen, watching Hulu or Netflix. I can want to sleep all day (20hrs a day). I don't write, read or clean. I feel like a failure for not acting like an adult.
TRIGGERS- Seeing my place dirty, trouble paying bills, someone telling me I'm lazy and a few I can't remember what.
Anxiety- This is a tough one to explain. I shake, have trouble breathing, my heart-rate jumps, I have cold & clammy sweats, and afterwards I want to sleep for hours.
TRIGGERS- People, shopping, paying bills, kids screaming and leaving my apartment. Basically anything that means leaving, even getting the mail.
Manic States- I have 2 different kinds. First, massive cleaning spree without stopping. Second, I watch a series on Hulu or Netflix non-stop, read entire book series, write for hours (10-15).
TRIGGERS- The 1st manic state is triggered by unknown reasons. I have found that if I take Trazodone the next day I clean non-stop. The 2nd is caused by a long depression (2 weeks to 1 month) and some triggers I haven't found yet.
PTSD- I know it causes my night-terrors, jumpiness to doors slamming, and fear of someone breaking in. This is caused by the physical, sexual, mental and psychological abuse I endured from my mother's 1st husband.
I'll now explain what causes my PTSD...
My mom married her 1st husband when I was 6. They had dated since I was 3. The earliest thing that I now known is signs of abuse was being scared to be left alone with him. I remember one time my mom was taking my babysitter to the store and I had a temper tantrum, and hid in the car. I still had to stay home. Another is I could get out of being grounded by giving him a back-rub. Department of Human Services investigated the abuse but since mom didn't see it and he lied they dismissed the case. They were called in because I knew how to masturbate. Then it became him calling me all kinds of names (bitch, slut, cunt, stupid, idiot). I blocked out the sexual abuse until after I was 25 years old. He threw me through a double pane window when I was 13.
Now you're asking where my mom was. Well, she thought that no man would want her since she had me out of wedlock. She was 18 when she had me and was raised Roman Catholic. In here mind my step-father was her only choice and she defended him at every turn.
I am the opposite, I refuse to NEED a man for anything, maybe not all the time. My boyfriend offers to help with bills and stuff but I refuse and ask for a massage instead.
This post is the first time I have told my story to more than a few friends and my mental health providers.
Showing posts with label #writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #writing. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Is It Still January?
I am amazed it is still January. For some reason it feels like this month is going fast when it's not. It could be because I have had a week of good days.
MEDICAL:
I found out I have to take an extra inhaler so I can keep the bronchitis and pneumonia away. Then they added prednisone to the mix. I now take 11 pills in the morning and 8 at night. I really wanted to get off more meds but I guess it'll take longer to do that.
Kiddo-2 came home last weekend and cleaned the house. Yes, the whole house. I have kept up with the cleaning too. I cooked homemade chicken-n-dumplings and chicken-noodle soup. That fed us for 5 days all together and you can't even tell I cooked when looking at my kitchen. Everything is cleaned up. PREDNISONE at it's best. I also have had to return to the chiropractor due to the pain in my shoulders and hips. I lasted 8 months without going. I think the weather change has caused it. By Tuesday I'll be back to normal, I hope.
WEATHER:
With a "white shit that falls from the sky" storm coming into my area tomorrow I had to stock up on a few things to make it with less anxiety. I grabbed soda, milk, eggs, bread, a steak, veggies, salad stuff, ice cream, snacks, fish and a frozen pizza.
Frig is completely full, freezer is almost full. hen I have all my writing snacks ready to go for my marathon writing days. Should be about 2 full days of words. For me this shopping trip was not normal. I usually don't buy snacks or frozen food stuff. I bet you are wondering what meals I'll be making... Beef fajitas, tacos, steak, salads, pizza and ice cream.
WRITING:
With 4-8 inches of white crap supposedly going to fall, staying warm, munching and writing is what I really need to do. I really want to get beyond 65k words on CoT2. If I can do that I can finish it before CampNaNoWriMo April.
UPDATE: CoT-1 has been handed over to a few friends to read. Then I should only have 2 round of edits left.
I have all of January's Indie Author of the Week posts done. One for February is also done. Now you just have to wait until Saturdays.
*Happy Writing & Happy Reading*
MEDICAL:
I found out I have to take an extra inhaler so I can keep the bronchitis and pneumonia away. Then they added prednisone to the mix. I now take 11 pills in the morning and 8 at night. I really wanted to get off more meds but I guess it'll take longer to do that.
Kiddo-2 came home last weekend and cleaned the house. Yes, the whole house. I have kept up with the cleaning too. I cooked homemade chicken-n-dumplings and chicken-noodle soup. That fed us for 5 days all together and you can't even tell I cooked when looking at my kitchen. Everything is cleaned up. PREDNISONE at it's best. I also have had to return to the chiropractor due to the pain in my shoulders and hips. I lasted 8 months without going. I think the weather change has caused it. By Tuesday I'll be back to normal, I hope.
WEATHER:
With a "white shit that falls from the sky" storm coming into my area tomorrow I had to stock up on a few things to make it with less anxiety. I grabbed soda, milk, eggs, bread, a steak, veggies, salad stuff, ice cream, snacks, fish and a frozen pizza.
Frig is completely full, freezer is almost full. hen I have all my writing snacks ready to go for my marathon writing days. Should be about 2 full days of words. For me this shopping trip was not normal. I usually don't buy snacks or frozen food stuff. I bet you are wondering what meals I'll be making... Beef fajitas, tacos, steak, salads, pizza and ice cream.WRITING:
With 4-8 inches of white crap supposedly going to fall, staying warm, munching and writing is what I really need to do. I really want to get beyond 65k words on CoT2. If I can do that I can finish it before CampNaNoWriMo April.
UPDATE: CoT-1 has been handed over to a few friends to read. Then I should only have 2 round of edits left.
I have all of January's Indie Author of the Week posts done. One for February is also done. Now you just have to wait until Saturdays.
*Happy Writing & Happy Reading*
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Just What I Need to Track a Timeline
Many writers have to double and triple check to make sure the timeline is correct for all events in a single book or especially a series. I have tried many timeline software programs and have found that Aeon Timeline suits my needs the best. I know I have mentioned it and even shared information on it before, but this time I'm going to talk only about Aeon and how many things work.
When you go to open up a new project you get a screen that has many options including; Fiction, Basic, Project Management, Legal, Daily, Historical, Numberline.
I have only used the fiction. In the fiction setup you can change fix the beginning to end times, Number & name of months, number & name of days and how many hours in a day. This is great for world building. Below are examples of these.
As you can see, it has great customization features. For those that World Build, you have the ability to create your own times and adjust the names to go along with your stories.
Here is where you change the skin and set up what you want to show in the inspector. It's really easy to set up and use. You can always go in and change everything if you want it different after awhile.
Managing the Entities is simply.
On the left you see the timeline settings. Here you can add and delete Arcs and persons (entities). You can change the colors if you wish.
Below you can see under "Manage Entities" is where you see, add and change your "Arcs" and "Person". When creating a character, make sure you set up an "Event" for birth and link it in the this section so you can keep track of age and use the participation & observer function.
To add an event you just fill in this simple form and click add event. As you can see here is where you can add participants and observers. You can always add them later is you're not sure yet. Here is the place to set the duration of the event. I have several that last days and some that last just a few hours. Setting what time it starts it will automatically set the end time at the start time. This is what I usually do as long as I add a time. The title can be whatever you want, the color is whatever you have chosen for the project, I have several for my series. Leave "Parent" alone until you learn more about it. I haven't figured out a way to use it
When you go to open up a new project you get a screen that has many options including; Fiction, Basic, Project Management, Legal, Daily, Historical, Numberline.
I have only used the fiction. In the fiction setup you can change fix the beginning to end times, Number & name of months, number & name of days and how many hours in a day. This is great for world building. Below are examples of these.
As you can see, it has great customization features. For those that World Build, you have the ability to create your own times and adjust the names to go along with your stories.
Managing the Entities is simply.
On the left you see the timeline settings. Here you can add and delete Arcs and persons (entities). You can change the colors if you wish.
Below you can see under "Manage Entities" is where you see, add and change your "Arcs" and "Person". When creating a character, make sure you set up an "Event" for birth and link it in the this section so you can keep track of age and use the participation & observer function. 
To add an event you just fill in this simple form and click add event. As you can see here is where you can add participants and observers. You can always add them later is you're not sure yet. Here is the place to set the duration of the event. I have several that last days and some that last just a few hours. Setting what time it starts it will automatically set the end time at the start time. This is what I usually do as long as I add a time. The title can be whatever you want, the color is whatever you have chosen for the project, I have several for my series. Leave "Parent" alone until you learn more about it. I haven't figured out a way to use it
with my situation, so I don't. Clicking on "Arc" you can place the event in any "Arc" you have set up.
Once you have it all set up and "Events" in place your "Timeline View" will look something like this in the light skin:
Here is what it looks like in the dark skin I usually use.
You can see all the different Arcs on the left. The color lines & dots show the Arcs in my "Global"arc. At the bottom you see the different colors I have chosen for my arcs names. I did that under "Settings" and "Colors". It helps me keep track of the arcs. Now I don't use arcs the way many others do, I use them for each book in the series. So, you can see here I have four books in the works and the "Global" one that shows everything, last I have births & deaths.
There is a great feature I love and that's the "Relationship" view. If you look below you can see that the arcs or for me books are listed to the left, then you have the events. Looking to the top right you see names, character names that is. Now, look down from those names and you can see the participants and observers. Look even closer and you can see their ages at the time of the event.
A closer look at the left side also shows you the time between events. Like this...
There you have it, my experience with Aeon Timeline. There are youtube videos on how to use Aeon but I found them to be too simple. Feel free to contact me on Twitter ( @jesdeh2o) if you have questions. I will always try and help.
HAPPY WRITING!
Saturday, October 27, 2018
What Time Is It? NANO Time!
Ahh! November is almost here. The one month that gives me great joy and great sadness. Sadness is due to the fact my mom will have been gone for 15 years this year. The great joy is what this post is all about.
NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is a non-profit.
Their Mission Statement
National Novel Writing Month believes in the transformational power of creativity. We provide the structure, community, and encouragement to help people find their voices, achieve creative goals, and build new worlds—on and off the page. -(from their site).
If you wish to help support NaNoWriMo your donations are tax deductible. Donate here.
What is NaNoWriMo all about?
Well, the best way I can describe it is, you write 50,000 words in 30 days. You think it sounds really hard, it is sometimes. For me it's a breeze. Yes, that's right, I have finished every year and the last 3 I have hit 50k in 13 days.
On many social medias you may have seen "Prep-tober" This is related to NaNoWriMo. Prep-tober is October for us Wrimos (NaNoWriMo participants). Prep-tober means a month long planning, outlining, plotting, researching and pulling our hair out month.
I plan meals and snacks more than anything else. I don't outline in a traditional way, my plots are usually thought out months if not years before. So, what do I plan for meals & snacks? At least 20 crock pot freezer meals, recipes can be found on my Pinterest, click on the link to the left. I stock up on Halloween candy all of October, make rice krispy treats, puppy chow, brownies and ranch oyster cracker. In October, I make a bunch of cookie dough and freeze it in balls so I just pull them out and pop them in the oven.
As for my outlines, I said I don't do them in the traditional manner but I sort of outline. I use Aeon Timeline to get the event in order. With it I can even have the event timed out, as in it lasted years, 3 hours or 12 seconds. This helps when I'm doing 2 point of views (POV). It is also what I keep all my events for the series in. Each series has it's own file. If I didn't have Aeon I'd never get anything in the correct order. Between books events happen and I can look and say "She did that months ago." if it is brought up in a future novel.
This is what mine looks like.
Yep, that's my outline stuff... Now, what do I use to write? Scrivener! It has everything I need, no hopping over to another window or screen. I keep my inspiration photos, notes, names, rules, definitions, etc. No need for individual programs for it all. They say it's a typewriter, scrapbook and ring-binder all in one. Take a look for yourself...
You can see on the left is my binder , the middle is my writing space and the right is my scrapbook... Yep just like their website says. I used to use Microsoft Word but after trying Scrivener 5 years ago, I can't go back to it.
I bet you wonder what I do when I have an "ah ha" moments, well I carry pen and paper everywhere.
The last week of October is my "try not to write" week. With all the preparation I do it's really though not to. My brain keeps saying "WRITE!" when I can't. On November 1st my manic state will kick in and I will write starting at midnight.
This year my 13 yr old neighbor girl is joining me NaNo through the Young Writers Program. It's for all kids under 18 years old. This year she asked about it and we got her started. I am amazed how into it she is. Asking all the right questions and she has more planned out than I do. I love seeing young ones get excited they was she has.
SO, what are you doing this October? What's planned for November?
NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is a non-profit.
Their Mission Statement
National Novel Writing Month believes in the transformational power of creativity. We provide the structure, community, and encouragement to help people find their voices, achieve creative goals, and build new worlds—on and off the page. -(from their site).
If you wish to help support NaNoWriMo your donations are tax deductible. Donate here.
What is NaNoWriMo all about?
Well, the best way I can describe it is, you write 50,000 words in 30 days. You think it sounds really hard, it is sometimes. For me it's a breeze. Yes, that's right, I have finished every year and the last 3 I have hit 50k in 13 days.
On many social medias you may have seen "Prep-tober" This is related to NaNoWriMo. Prep-tober is October for us Wrimos (NaNoWriMo participants). Prep-tober means a month long planning, outlining, plotting, researching and pulling our hair out month.
I plan meals and snacks more than anything else. I don't outline in a traditional way, my plots are usually thought out months if not years before. So, what do I plan for meals & snacks? At least 20 crock pot freezer meals, recipes can be found on my Pinterest, click on the link to the left. I stock up on Halloween candy all of October, make rice krispy treats, puppy chow, brownies and ranch oyster cracker. In October, I make a bunch of cookie dough and freeze it in balls so I just pull them out and pop them in the oven.
As for my outlines, I said I don't do them in the traditional manner but I sort of outline. I use Aeon Timeline to get the event in order. With it I can even have the event timed out, as in it lasted years, 3 hours or 12 seconds. This helps when I'm doing 2 point of views (POV). It is also what I keep all my events for the series in. Each series has it's own file. If I didn't have Aeon I'd never get anything in the correct order. Between books events happen and I can look and say "She did that months ago." if it is brought up in a future novel.
This is what mine looks like.
I bet you wonder what I do when I have an "ah ha" moments, well I carry pen and paper everywhere.
The last week of October is my "try not to write" week. With all the preparation I do it's really though not to. My brain keeps saying "WRITE!" when I can't. On November 1st my manic state will kick in and I will write starting at midnight.
This year my 13 yr old neighbor girl is joining me NaNo through the Young Writers Program. It's for all kids under 18 years old. This year she asked about it and we got her started. I am amazed how into it she is. Asking all the right questions and she has more planned out than I do. I love seeing young ones get excited they was she has.
SO, what are you doing this October? What's planned for November?
Saturday, June 2, 2018
The Cocky Story
I was not going to post about this but I feel I need to. If you haven't heard of #cockygate here is a rundown.
An indie author, Faleena Hopkins, has published many books (19 if I read Amazon correctly) in a series. Which was originally named "The Cocker Brothers of Georgia" and "The Cocker Brothers of Atlanta". As you can see below. You can find the original here. Every book TITLE has the word "cocky" in it, not the series name. These are the 1st eight books in the series.
Ms. Hopkins has had the "Cocker Brothers" series out to read since June 16th 2016 when she released "Cocky Roomie". The last one in the "Cocker Brothers" is book 19, "Cocky Mother's Day: A Holiday Novella". That was released on May 12th, 2018. If you compare the covers from the above photo to the following, you will see that the title hasn't changed on the cover just the listing.
If the trademark does hold soon movies and songs and even names would be up for trade marks. Someone posted on Twitter (I'm paraphrasing) "If the word Star had been trademarked then we wouldn't have "Star Wars" Add to the, "Stargate", "Stargate SG1", excreta.
The precedence would begin to eliminate every word that is in the dictionary. The word "cocky" has been around since 1800 circa. No one can forbid someone else from using a word that has been used for centuries. Now if it's a completely made-up word then MAYBE. I repeat MAYBE.
If you read it you can see there is no way any lawyer would suggest or allow their client to send something like this out. My favorite part is "win all the monies" Do you know how much it would cost to re-brand, re-cover and order all new swag? It's a lot. Just think, one book cover could cost $200-$2000 depending on the quality. Indie authors don't make tons of money. Many have full time jobs and families to care for and writing is a hobby.
On May 7th Tara Crescent received a notice from Amazon telling her that her "Cocky" books were being pulled due to the trademark that Ms.Hopkins was given.
RWA (Romance Writers of America) got involved and Amazon decided to wait until the trademark issue was resolved to pull books. Tara's books were back up in a few days.
Meanwhile, Kevin Kneupper (Twitter @kneupperwriter) a retired lawyer now author came out of retirement. He filed a Petition of Cancellation for the "cocky" trademarks on May 7th 2018. You can read the entire petition thanks to Kevin. READ PETITION NOW
Shortly after that Ms.Hokpins decided it would be a good idea to Facebook live a 1:42:00 video. In it she plays the victim. You can watch it here, The Rant. Shortly after she pulled it from Facebook, then proceeded to have youtube to remove all copies of it. Did she not understand that once you post something on the internet it is there forever? If you watch it be prepared for long dramatic pauses throughout.
After the rant many authors posted their own thoughts on youtube. Here are a few I personal watched. YES, there are many links here.
Bianca Sommerland:
Cocky Copyright by Faleena Hopkins
Cocky Continued
Trademark Trolls and the Cocky Rebellion (And yes, I'll comment on the rant)
#COCKYGATE NEW LOW-Faleena Hopkins
Jessica Fry
An indie author, Faleena Hopkins, has published many books (19 if I read Amazon correctly) in a series. Which was originally named "The Cocker Brothers of Georgia" and "The Cocker Brothers of Atlanta". As you can see below. You can find the original here. Every book TITLE has the word "cocky" in it, not the series name. These are the 1st eight books in the series.
Ms. Hopkins has had the "Cocker Brothers" series out to read since June 16th 2016 when she released "Cocky Roomie". The last one in the "Cocker Brothers" is book 19, "Cocky Mother's Day: A Holiday Novella". That was released on May 12th, 2018. If you compare the covers from the above photo to the following, you will see that the title hasn't changed on the cover just the listing.
On April 17th 2018 the Trademark office granted Ms.Hopkins a trademark for the single word
"cocky", in a romance title, romance series and the stylized or font of the word as well. As it has been mentioned on Twitter the font is owned by Set Sail Studios. In the purchase contract (as far as I understand) states you can not trademark it.Why is this all important?
Trademarking a single word that is a descriptive word will set a precedence for all future trademarks. Lets say I trademark the word "and" in the any genre of books, that would mean no one could use it. Soon, there would be no words left to title a book. It would not have been a big deal if Ms.Hopkins only trademarked "The Cocker Brothers" as a whole. A three word series title probably would not have stirred up so much trouble.If the trademark does hold soon movies and songs and even names would be up for trade marks. Someone posted on Twitter (I'm paraphrasing) "If the word Star had been trademarked then we wouldn't have "Star Wars" Add to the, "Stargate", "Stargate SG1", excreta.
The precedence would begin to eliminate every word that is in the dictionary. The word "cocky" has been around since 1800 circa. No one can forbid someone else from using a word that has been used for centuries. Now if it's a completely made-up word then MAYBE. I repeat MAYBE.
Next...
A few authors received cease and desist letter though e-mail. Jamila Jasper (Twitter @JamilaJasper ) shared hers on Twitter. Here's what it looked like.
On May 7th Tara Crescent received a notice from Amazon telling her that her "Cocky" books were being pulled due to the trademark that Ms.Hopkins was given.
Meanwhile, Kevin Kneupper (Twitter @kneupperwriter) a retired lawyer now author came out of retirement. He filed a Petition of Cancellation for the "cocky" trademarks on May 7th 2018. You can read the entire petition thanks to Kevin. READ PETITION NOW
After the rant many authors posted their own thoughts on youtube. Here are a few I personal watched. YES, there are many links here.
Bianca Sommerland:
Cocky Copyright by Faleena Hopkins
Cocky Continued
Trademark Trolls and the Cocky Rebellion (And yes, I'll comment on the rant)
#COCKYGATE NEW LOW-Faleena Hopkins
Jessica Fry
Elizabeth York
Hanleigh Bradley
Sasha White
Some of those links are on topics I'll get to next.
Ms.Hopkins reasons for filing the trademarks were"to protect her brand & so her readers don't continue to buy books with similar titles" (paraphrased that).
Now in the last 14 days Ms. Hopkins filed a SLAPP temporary restraining order(TRO) on Kevin Kneupper to get him to stop the trademark challenge, Tara Crescent to take down her books to re-title them and Jennifer Watson on infringement of trademark "cocky" having to do with the "Cocktale Anthology"
Kevin Kneupper's part was dismissed and allowed to continue with the trademark challenge. Watson and Crescent still have a long road ahead. Though the TRO has been denied. You can read the court record of the hearing on June 1st 2018 thanks to Courtney Milan who paid for it. Court Doc.
After reading through the court record I looked around to see what else Ms.Hopkins has not put "cocky" in her series title. This is something that she said was easy to change yet she hasn't done it herself.
LOOK! "The Cocker Brothers"
My take on all this as an unpublished author that plans to help-publish is this is a cry for attention. The majority of readers had no clue who she was when this all started. I read all kinds of romance and I never even came across her name. So, it's a publicity stunt or not. I'd say probably. Once #cockygate quieted down she took people to court. Yep, once again I think she needed more attention, or at least she thought she did.
This has been a rough post for me. Too much information to fact check, which I did. I would like to state that in no way shape or form is the title of my post about a prowess male or even female. All pictures were published publicly and I claim no rights to them. All "The Cocker Brothers" photos are from Faleena Hokins' own sites. In no way do I wish to harass or harm anyone with this post.
Thanks for bearing with me in all that I stated. In the next few days I'll be posting all the wonderful authors I have found and met because of #cockygate.
After reading through the court record I looked around to see what else Ms.Hopkins has not put "cocky" in her series title. This is something that she said was easy to change yet she hasn't done it herself.
LOOK! "The Cocker Brothers"
My take on all this as an unpublished author that plans to help-publish is this is a cry for attention. The majority of readers had no clue who she was when this all started. I read all kinds of romance and I never even came across her name. So, it's a publicity stunt or not. I'd say probably. Once #cockygate quieted down she took people to court. Yep, once again I think she needed more attention, or at least she thought she did.
This has been a rough post for me. Too much information to fact check, which I did. I would like to state that in no way shape or form is the title of my post about a prowess male or even female. All pictures were published publicly and I claim no rights to them. All "The Cocker Brothers" photos are from Faleena Hokins' own sites. In no way do I wish to harass or harm anyone with this post.
Thanks for bearing with me in all that I stated. In the next few days I'll be posting all the wonderful authors I have found and met because of #cockygate.
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
It's That Time Again
I finally finished Dalara a few weeks ago. My beta readers have it. I also completed the novella that come after it. Yes, I've been busy. The novella needs a few changes but will be off to the beta readers soon. You would not believe the feeling I got when I finished. I was excited and jumping up and down for a few minutes. Then I dove into the novella, Tasmina. The the anxiety hit, I really sent Dalara off to others. Someone is reading it and OMG! What if they hate it and I suck? So, I decided to get ready for CampNaNoWriMo, takes place in April. With CampNaNo, I can work on current projects or new ones, unlike NaNoWriMo in November. I have completed transferring over the information from Tasmina over to Naleena. I do this so I can keep track of character changes and places added. It's so simple with Scrivener. All I have to do is drag and drop from one project to another. Then I set up a new parent group on Aeon Timeline. For this all I had to do was a few clicks and some words. With Aeon I have all the projects of the series there, as you can see here.
You can see that each story of assumed story is lined up in order of when I think they should happen. I will probably change them around or change who is involved with those after Naleena. Each event that I write about will get placed in as below shows for Dalara.
I have a few notes written out and ready to go but this is what my desktop looks like.
Now I just need words on the page. Remember to sign up for CampNaNo during March. I usually do it around the 7th.
I support all third party software and apps I share but am not compensated for sharing or reviewing them.
Monday, January 1, 2018
The New Year
Today is the first day of the new year. Many are planning on making changes in 2018 & hoping for things to change n the world. No matter what we do 2018 can be a start of something different. I have never done a New Years Resolution but this year I'm going to try.
Writing/Reading
Eating Habits
Cleaning
As you can see my goals are not to hard for normal people. I'm not normal at all. With bipolar I have a hard time doing things like housework and cleaning. Add to it that when I don't clean for a day I get anxious and have no idea where to start or I start something (like dishes) and never finish them.
Writing/Reading
- Write 150 words daily (2017- 250 words)
- CampNaNoWriMo - April & July 25k words each (2017 completed)
- NaNoWriMo- November 50k words (2017 completed)
- Blog at least twice a month
- Goodreads Reading Challenge 100 books (50-100 yearly & make it)
Eating Habits
- Eat healthy with more home-cooked meals (2017- too much pizza & chips)
- Cooking- Make crock-pot freezer meals every month (2017- Only 2 months)
- Drink more homemade fruit infused water (2017- drank too much soda)
- Take showers every other day (2017- bathed every night but washed hair once a week)
- Take medication every day (2012-2017 completed) Medisafe app helps
- Keep all therapy & shrink appointments (2015-2017 completed)
Cleaning
- Do dishes every day (2017- once or twice a week)
- Vacuum once a week (2017- twice a month)
- Fold laundry when it's done (2017- folded once a month)
As you can see my goals are not to hard for normal people. I'm not normal at all. With bipolar I have a hard time doing things like housework and cleaning. Add to it that when I don't clean for a day I get anxious and have no idea where to start or I start something (like dishes) and never finish them.
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Prep-Tober Time!
What is prep-tober you ask. It's the October which is the month to prepare for November's NaNoWriMo (50,000 words in 30 days). This means I will be setting up my NaNo project, researching and planning all kinds of other crap. It's also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which my mom died from breast cancer. So, STRESS is going to be high. Then add in kiddo-2's issues and kiddo-1 constantly getting hurt by accident (torn ACL, car accident & spraining his ankle). I'm gonna split up each issue in this post.
This story is going to be about non-sparkling vampires and shifters mixing with humans. Always fun. I'm not really sure how the species are going to mingle but they will at some point. Since I'm a pantser (non-planner), I never know where the characters will take me in the end. I know there will be certain humans that can mate and have offspring to each species. How this will happen or how they know is still lost on me.
Working title is 'Midnight Whispers'. My main characters are Abigail (human) & Elyan (vampire). Elyan owns and runs a security firm named 'Trinity Security'. His business hires only the best: shifters, military, NSA, CIA, FBI, and martial arts experts to train. Abigail is a labor & delivery nurse at the major hospital. She works 40-80 hours a week and has little time for anything outside work. Elyan becomes infatuated with Abigail. She's leery about him, of course.
Prep-Tober
I have begun to get my characters in order with names, DOB's, likes, dislikes, etc. Aeon Timeline is started as well. I have the start of my species and DOB's put in as well as the start point of the story. Next step is to set up my Scapple mind-mapping.This story is going to be about non-sparkling vampires and shifters mixing with humans. Always fun. I'm not really sure how the species are going to mingle but they will at some point. Since I'm a pantser (non-planner), I never know where the characters will take me in the end. I know there will be certain humans that can mate and have offspring to each species. How this will happen or how they know is still lost on me.
Working title is 'Midnight Whispers'. My main characters are Abigail (human) & Elyan (vampire). Elyan owns and runs a security firm named 'Trinity Security'. His business hires only the best: shifters, military, NSA, CIA, FBI, and martial arts experts to train. Abigail is a labor & delivery nurse at the major hospital. She works 40-80 hours a week and has little time for anything outside work. Elyan becomes infatuated with Abigail. She's leery about him, of course.
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 36. I was 18 and didn't know what was really happening because she hid most of it from me. I knew she was having chemo but she had no side-effects. 9 years and 9 months after she was deemed in remission it struck again. They hadn't put it in total remission, it spreed to her liver and brain. I split from my husband at the time, moved in with her, her husband and my 2 kiddos. My son was 5 and my daughter almost 1. My step-father worked, I went to school and took care of my mom's appointments and treatment. After a year, the cancer was so wide-spreed in her brain the chemo would do nothing and radiation wasn't working. Mom decided to stop treatments. Even though it killed me, I supported her choice. It only took 3 months for her to pass. I kept her home until a few days before her birthday, which was Nov. 14th. We put her in a hospice type long term care. 2 weeks later, the day after Thanksgiving she passed. Exactly 2 weeks after her 47th birthday.
Since I was 29 I had to wait a year before my insurance allowed mammograms. I have had them once a year for 14 years now. A few years they had me doing them every 6 months. This means I've had 18 mammograms before I was 41. I have been finally cleared to go 18 months between, unless they find something. I have many fibroids that it makes it difficult to read the mammograms.
PLEASE get your boobs squished.
Recommendation is 1st mammogram at 40 and every 2-5 years after that. I have breast cancer on both sides of my family tree so I'm at higher risk. My daughter will be getting her 1st one at age 20, this is because my mother was so young when she first had hers and my daughter tested positive for the inherited gene as I have. We have also been told to get pap smears yearly since there is a higher chance of us getting ovarian or cervical cancer.
Stress
My daughter thinks she's 'in love' with a boy that's 20 and she's only 15. He's been convicted of a class D felony and is facing charges for a class C felony. It's illegal for them to have sex, though they have admitted they had sex last November, which means she was only 14 at the time. There is nothing I can do to keep them apart unless I catch them having sex or she tries to run away with him. Though today she has told me that she wants to go out for the drill team and help out at the largest haunted house in Iowa. She's worked the haunted house for the past several years. Her counselor says her getting involved with these activities might help her stay away from the boy. Since he is out for preliminary, meaning he is under house-arrest. He has no phone nor internet so there will be no contact, but I worry all the same.
My son, 20 years old, has had a hard year bringing me down with him. April 30th he tore his ACL playing basketball, July 21st he was in a major car accident, and now he sprained his ankle playing basketball. He was off work for awhile, I bought food and helped him out with getting his bills paid. He's bipolar and non-medicated at the moment. Imagine 2 bipolar people in the same place for long periods at time, especial when they usually set each other off. Yes, I take my meds daily as ordered but he doesn't. It sets off my anxiety and a depressive mood. It took me a week, a full week, to get dishes done. I'm hoping that now things have settled down and he's back to work I'll be able to get back on track.
Another stress is that my disability hearing should be coming up in the next few months and I'm worried that they will find some reason to deny me again. I haven't been able to work for almost 10 years now. Add to that we have a unit by unit inspection for house cleaning in a few weeks.
That's what's going on. I'm handling it much better than I thought I would. Many are impressed that I haven't hurt anyone yet. Today I managed to get most of the kitchen clean and yesterday I cleaned my room. It's progress and I'll take it. Every accomplishment is an achievement. Bipolar, depression and anxiety is a day to day, minute to minute living.
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Preparing for NaNoWriMo 2017
What is NaNoWriMo you ask...
NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month.
"National Novel Writing Month is also a 501(c)(3) nonprofit (formerly known as the Office of Letters and Light) that believes your story matters.
Our Mission Statement
National Novel Writing Month believes in the transformational power of creativity. We provide the structure, community, and encouragement to help people find their voices, achieve creative goals, and build new worlds—on and off the page." {©www.nanowrimo.com }
Basically, it's 30 days of writing with the goal of 50,000 words. Yes, it sounds extreme but it has been fun and exciting every year I have done it. The first year was the hardest, I had several setbacks because I ended up deleting words, a no-no for NaNoWriMo. Sounds harsh? Not at all. The objective is to write 50,000 words no matter how beautiful or horrid they are. Making it great is what edits are for. Once I figured that out I have had no issues.
This year is the 1st year that I have started before the end of October. I have no idea why I'm prepping now other than I the research will take forever. I had to chose a city that I have never been to; which means I have to get maps. Of course, online ones suck. I'd have to have a monitor that's at least 50 inch screen to see it all at once. Right now I'm waiting on North Carolina's Travel & Tourism to mail maps, historical places and fun things to do there. Once I have them I can get my homes & places in order. I have already found out the crime rates in every areas of the city and the population influx during the school year.
☑ Character personalities
☑ Plots figured out
☐ Plot twists
☐ History of species
☑ How they contract the virus
☐ Plot twist
☑ Tattoos and birthmarks figured out and drawn
I know I'm forgetting a few but those are the main ones for the writing.
☐ Menus for November
☐ Grocery list for November
☑ Cleaning list for October
☑ List of snacks for the weekends
There that's how I usually prep in October. Starting it now is difficult but I think necessary since I have decided the city. That and since my bipolar & anxiety is acting up and I can't leave my apartment without issues. It gives me something to do. That all means that I have tons of time on my hands to get everything done.
Once the maps get here I'll get them laminated so I can use dry erase markers to mark things. Maybe I'll laminate all the info I get so it'll stand the test of time. I've even researched places that laminate so I can get it done cheap since I have no money.
NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month.
"National Novel Writing Month is also a 501(c)(3) nonprofit (formerly known as the Office of Letters and Light) that believes your story matters.
Our Mission Statement
National Novel Writing Month believes in the transformational power of creativity. We provide the structure, community, and encouragement to help people find their voices, achieve creative goals, and build new worlds—on and off the page." {©www.nanowrimo.com }
Basically, it's 30 days of writing with the goal of 50,000 words. Yes, it sounds extreme but it has been fun and exciting every year I have done it. The first year was the hardest, I had several setbacks because I ended up deleting words, a no-no for NaNoWriMo. Sounds harsh? Not at all. The objective is to write 50,000 words no matter how beautiful or horrid they are. Making it great is what edits are for. Once I figured that out I have had no issues.
This year is the 1st year that I have started before the end of October. I have no idea why I'm prepping now other than I the research will take forever. I had to chose a city that I have never been to; which means I have to get maps. Of course, online ones suck. I'd have to have a monitor that's at least 50 inch screen to see it all at once. Right now I'm waiting on North Carolina's Travel & Tourism to mail maps, historical places and fun things to do there. Once I have them I can get my homes & places in order. I have already found out the crime rates in every areas of the city and the population influx during the school year.
The basics are almost done....
☑ Main character names (Elyan & Abigail)☑ Character personalities
☑ Plots figured out
☐ Plot twists
☐ History of species
☑ How they contract the virus
☐ Plot twist
☑ Tattoos and birthmarks figured out and drawn
I know I'm forgetting a few but those are the main ones for the writing.
These are much easier since they are household prep.
☐ Menus for November
☐ Grocery list for November
☑ Cleaning list for October
☑ List of snacks for the weekends
There that's how I usually prep in October. Starting it now is difficult but I think necessary since I have decided the city. That and since my bipolar & anxiety is acting up and I can't leave my apartment without issues. It gives me something to do. That all means that I have tons of time on my hands to get everything done.
Once the maps get here I'll get them laminated so I can use dry erase markers to mark things. Maybe I'll laminate all the info I get so it'll stand the test of time. I've even researched places that laminate so I can get it done cheap since I have no money.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Food and Writing
Food and writing are the two things authors & I love. This post is going to have tons of food pictures and recipes if ones are needed; along with my writing stuff.
So lets start off with the fact that CampNaNoWriMo is in full swing. I m 3 days ahead right now. Though this weekend will be slow writing. Below is my project stats. WIP- Nessa is coming out of her shell as the novel continues; however, Marrick is lost. Typical male!
As I take breaks from writing I have been using my birthday presents my kiddo-2 and her boyfriend gave me. Check it out. I'm loving it! Coloring keeps my mind calm when it won't focus on words.
Now for the food part. Here are my writing and Netflix snacks. Cauliflower, carrots and ranch dip. Then there is the store bought fresh crab stuffed mushrooms.
Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe
4-6 Chicken hind quarters
Chopped carrots
2 Chopped or diced onions
Fresh Basil (2-3 TBsp)
2 TBsp oregano
3-4 cloves of garlic (minced)
3 cups chicken broth
2 stalks of celery (chopped)
In huge pot put the chicken, spices and veggies in. Cover with water. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 3-4 hours adding water if chicken isn't covered. After that add in the broth. Simmer for another 2 hours.
Noodles
Click here for recipe
Serve hot. Store leftovers in frig. Freezes well too.
Before I go off to my writing cave I'll show you a new picture of me...
So lets start off with the fact that CampNaNoWriMo is in full swing. I m 3 days ahead right now. Though this weekend will be slow writing. Below is my project stats. WIP- Nessa is coming out of her shell as the novel continues; however, Marrick is lost. Typical male!
Since kiddo-2 isn't home much because of school and friends I have been eating salads and omelets.
 |
| Lettuce, tomatoes, red onion, diced ham, blue cheese crumbles and colby/jack cheese. |
 |
| No blue cheese crumbles :( |
 |
| Omelet- green peppers, diced ham, red onion, orange peppers & colby/jack cheese |
When kiddo-2 is feeling off or is sick we make homemade chicken noodle soup. Doesn't it look yummy?
Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe
4-6 Chicken hind quarters
Chopped carrots
2 Chopped or diced onions
Fresh Basil (2-3 TBsp)
2 TBsp oregano
3-4 cloves of garlic (minced)
3 cups chicken broth
2 stalks of celery (chopped)
In huge pot put the chicken, spices and veggies in. Cover with water. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 3-4 hours adding water if chicken isn't covered. After that add in the broth. Simmer for another 2 hours.
Noodles
Click here for recipe
Serve hot. Store leftovers in frig. Freezes well too.
Before I go off to my writing cave I'll show you a new picture of me...
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
NaNoWriMo Has Started
As with every November 1st, I am knee deep in words. 50,000 words in 30 days is challenging but fun. Though this year is hard. Not only has my 19 year old son decided to stay with me until he can find an apartment my daughter is having depression issues as well. Here's the rundown:
Kiddo-1 moved in with a girl he knew for only 2 months, that lasted 2 weeks. He is bipolar, un-medicated at that. He's not really being adultish, tossing fits when I tell him he has to buy things for the house or help with bills. My place looks like a tornado went thru here and the mess is causing my to lash out. Typical OCD/Bipolar even with meds. My dishes were ALL dirty yesterday and a friend came over and did them. This hadn't happened since kiddo-1 moved out.
Kiddo-2 is having episodes of depression and anxiety. She is now medicated, something I never thought I'd have to do with her. It's for the best I know but at first I felt like a failure. Her grades dropped for a few weeks. She is now back on track and it makes me feel better and she feels better.
For me it's stressful having kiddo-1 here but I can't let him sleep in his car. I am making it work the best I can. My issues are that I can't keep anything clean, can't write when kiddos are floating around this small 2 bedroom apartment and I have no space with kiddo-1's things all over the place. Add in that I have had to fill out paperwork for an apartment for him... in the building next to mine. He bitches when I have him sign papers. I had the offer to move back to the 3 bedroom but I can't handle an un-medicated bipolar in my home. All that is needed for him to move in is a bank statement and the apartment to be cleaned and painted. Hoping for move in date in 2 weeks if not sooner. Then I have to call the church and see if they can help with the deposit for him. All this and my normal issues, writing tons of words this month and trying to feed 3 when I have barely enough to feed 2. I tore a muscle and tendon in my shoulder so I have to be careful with my dominant arm.
Grocery shopping usually happens on the 2nd, today, but kiddo-1 had to work and my ex-mother-in-law broke her shoulder. So now I have to wait until I have a ride and someone to help carry everything in, up to the second floor. We have an apartment inspection next week which means I must clean the place OCD style and make sure we can find everything.
Now for my NaNoWriMo WIP (work in progress)... I'm ahead on it and feeling like it's gonna be good. Here's an excerpt....
Lynell was running through the woods as fast as she could carrying her young. She knew they were coming for her, to take the baby away and impregnate her again. They were using females as breeders and sending the young off. After weeks of planning she finally escaped with a few other females, though she hadn’t seen any of them for days. Another branch smacked her in the face while holding the little one as close to her body as she could. Stopping near a small stream Lynell inhaled trying to smell if they were still following her and if so how close. Sighing in relief, Lynell walked to the edge of the water. Setting the little one down on soft sandy bank, she drank the water as fast as she could. Not knowing when it’ll be available again. The water was icy since it was still spring and made her feel hopeful, if only for a second.
The little one started wailing, he was hungry. Lynell picked him up and put him to her breast. It was a good thing, she thought, that there was no looking for his food. She washed the cloth she was using as a diaper. Once done she closed her eyes hoping to get an hours rest.
When Lynell woke, the sun had begin to peek over the horizon, she had slept for hours. Quickly feeding the little one she took off running again. With the sleep she got she was energized but had allowed those chasing her to get closer to her. Not that she knew if they were still after her. She couldn’t take the chance.
Coming across an abandoned shed, Lynell hurried inside and found a old dusty bed. Knowing she shouldn’t leave the little one alone but needed to find herself some food; she placed him down and quietly left. It didn’t take her long to find water again. Shifting for the first time in days she managed to catch a few rabbits and returned to the shed in less than half an hour. Shifting back she curled up with the little one and fell asleep.
An early morning run was one of Drew’s favorite things to do, plus he had to patrol his land. As Alpha of a small pack he needed to. After his relocation the Council, the ruling wolves, demanded; he was still getting used to the land and smells. Over three months and now the scents changed with spring coming. New growth, melting snow and more animals running around. When he first caught the scent he thought it was just a regular wolf or fox. Inhaling deeper he found it to be a wolf shifter. One not of his pack. Following the trail it led off his property. No shifter was allowed into an Alpha’s territory without permission, so he followed it. Just because his land ended didn’t mean his territory did. Five miles off property the scent was strong, only seconds old. Speeding up he lost it and ended up backtracking. Near an old falling down shed the scent was strong and the wolf was still there. That’s when he heard it, a baby cry. What the hell would a wolf bring a human baby out here, he thought.
Shifting and slowly approaching the shed he, caught the scent, the baby was no human but a wolf pup. He didn’t want to scare the female, females were very protective of their young and she would try and fight him. Looking into what once held a window he saw a young female sleeping with the pup in her arms. She looked dirty and must have been exhausted because she hadn’t woken to his presence or the pup crying.
Drew walked around to the door and crept in. Once standing above the female he used his Alpha commanding voice, “Get up!”
She jumped grabbing the pup and holding it close. Without looking up she tried to run. Drew cut her off and growled. She immediately dropped to her knees.
“What is your name female? And what are you doing in my territory?”
He watched the female clutch the pup even closer, almost squishing it to death.
“I am Lynell Lora Pritt, Alpha. I didn’t know I was in your territory, Alpha.”
“What are you doing out here with a pup so young?” He had noticed the pup was barely whelped or born as humans call it.
“Please don’t send me back, I beg of you.”
“What are you talking about? Your Alpha doesn’t know you left?”
“Please don’t. He’ll take my pup and mate me again.”
Drew was trying to put her words together so he understood them. Was she really saying her Alpha was raping her and steeling the pups? It was against law to mate with one under the age of twenty-two. This female was barely eighteen if he was judging correctly.
“Come, you need a shower, clean clothes and a meal.”
“You won’t send me back, Alpha?”
“Not until you tell me everything. Now come.”
He led led her back to the Alpha house. They didn’t talk. He was still trying to wrap his head around what she had said. Why would an Alpha do what she said? Was her story true or was it a lie. Usually he could sense a lie but she smelled of dirt and the forest.
Zaran, his Beta, was approaching and he saw Lynell hug the pup closer as if it would be taken from her.
“That’s just my Beta. You are safe.”
As Zaran stood before them, “Alpha, what is going on?”
“I’m not sure yet. For now we are protecting this female and her pup.”
“Very well. I’ll continue your patrol.”
“Good.” Zaran left and Drew ushered Lynell inside. The kitchen smelled of sausage, eggs, bacon and toast. Aisley was cooking breakfast. He had brought Aisley with him when he was moved. She had been his house female for years. The second she saw Lynell and the pup she rushed around the island.
(c) 2016 Jessica Dewater
Have a great month and enjoy life's little things!
Kiddo-1 moved in with a girl he knew for only 2 months, that lasted 2 weeks. He is bipolar, un-medicated at that. He's not really being adultish, tossing fits when I tell him he has to buy things for the house or help with bills. My place looks like a tornado went thru here and the mess is causing my to lash out. Typical OCD/Bipolar even with meds. My dishes were ALL dirty yesterday and a friend came over and did them. This hadn't happened since kiddo-1 moved out.
Kiddo-2 is having episodes of depression and anxiety. She is now medicated, something I never thought I'd have to do with her. It's for the best I know but at first I felt like a failure. Her grades dropped for a few weeks. She is now back on track and it makes me feel better and she feels better.
For me it's stressful having kiddo-1 here but I can't let him sleep in his car. I am making it work the best I can. My issues are that I can't keep anything clean, can't write when kiddos are floating around this small 2 bedroom apartment and I have no space with kiddo-1's things all over the place. Add in that I have had to fill out paperwork for an apartment for him... in the building next to mine. He bitches when I have him sign papers. I had the offer to move back to the 3 bedroom but I can't handle an un-medicated bipolar in my home. All that is needed for him to move in is a bank statement and the apartment to be cleaned and painted. Hoping for move in date in 2 weeks if not sooner. Then I have to call the church and see if they can help with the deposit for him. All this and my normal issues, writing tons of words this month and trying to feed 3 when I have barely enough to feed 2. I tore a muscle and tendon in my shoulder so I have to be careful with my dominant arm.
Grocery shopping usually happens on the 2nd, today, but kiddo-1 had to work and my ex-mother-in-law broke her shoulder. So now I have to wait until I have a ride and someone to help carry everything in, up to the second floor. We have an apartment inspection next week which means I must clean the place OCD style and make sure we can find everything.
Now for my NaNoWriMo WIP (work in progress)... I'm ahead on it and feeling like it's gonna be good. Here's an excerpt....
Lynell was running through the woods as fast as she could carrying her young. She knew they were coming for her, to take the baby away and impregnate her again. They were using females as breeders and sending the young off. After weeks of planning she finally escaped with a few other females, though she hadn’t seen any of them for days. Another branch smacked her in the face while holding the little one as close to her body as she could. Stopping near a small stream Lynell inhaled trying to smell if they were still following her and if so how close. Sighing in relief, Lynell walked to the edge of the water. Setting the little one down on soft sandy bank, she drank the water as fast as she could. Not knowing when it’ll be available again. The water was icy since it was still spring and made her feel hopeful, if only for a second.
The little one started wailing, he was hungry. Lynell picked him up and put him to her breast. It was a good thing, she thought, that there was no looking for his food. She washed the cloth she was using as a diaper. Once done she closed her eyes hoping to get an hours rest.
When Lynell woke, the sun had begin to peek over the horizon, she had slept for hours. Quickly feeding the little one she took off running again. With the sleep she got she was energized but had allowed those chasing her to get closer to her. Not that she knew if they were still after her. She couldn’t take the chance.
Coming across an abandoned shed, Lynell hurried inside and found a old dusty bed. Knowing she shouldn’t leave the little one alone but needed to find herself some food; she placed him down and quietly left. It didn’t take her long to find water again. Shifting for the first time in days she managed to catch a few rabbits and returned to the shed in less than half an hour. Shifting back she curled up with the little one and fell asleep.
***********
An early morning run was one of Drew’s favorite things to do, plus he had to patrol his land. As Alpha of a small pack he needed to. After his relocation the Council, the ruling wolves, demanded; he was still getting used to the land and smells. Over three months and now the scents changed with spring coming. New growth, melting snow and more animals running around. When he first caught the scent he thought it was just a regular wolf or fox. Inhaling deeper he found it to be a wolf shifter. One not of his pack. Following the trail it led off his property. No shifter was allowed into an Alpha’s territory without permission, so he followed it. Just because his land ended didn’t mean his territory did. Five miles off property the scent was strong, only seconds old. Speeding up he lost it and ended up backtracking. Near an old falling down shed the scent was strong and the wolf was still there. That’s when he heard it, a baby cry. What the hell would a wolf bring a human baby out here, he thought.
Shifting and slowly approaching the shed he, caught the scent, the baby was no human but a wolf pup. He didn’t want to scare the female, females were very protective of their young and she would try and fight him. Looking into what once held a window he saw a young female sleeping with the pup in her arms. She looked dirty and must have been exhausted because she hadn’t woken to his presence or the pup crying.
Drew walked around to the door and crept in. Once standing above the female he used his Alpha commanding voice, “Get up!”
She jumped grabbing the pup and holding it close. Without looking up she tried to run. Drew cut her off and growled. She immediately dropped to her knees.
“What is your name female? And what are you doing in my territory?”
He watched the female clutch the pup even closer, almost squishing it to death.
“I am Lynell Lora Pritt, Alpha. I didn’t know I was in your territory, Alpha.”
“What are you doing out here with a pup so young?” He had noticed the pup was barely whelped or born as humans call it.
“Please don’t send me back, I beg of you.”
“What are you talking about? Your Alpha doesn’t know you left?”
“Please don’t. He’ll take my pup and mate me again.”
Drew was trying to put her words together so he understood them. Was she really saying her Alpha was raping her and steeling the pups? It was against law to mate with one under the age of twenty-two. This female was barely eighteen if he was judging correctly.
“Come, you need a shower, clean clothes and a meal.”
“You won’t send me back, Alpha?”
“Not until you tell me everything. Now come.”
He led led her back to the Alpha house. They didn’t talk. He was still trying to wrap his head around what she had said. Why would an Alpha do what she said? Was her story true or was it a lie. Usually he could sense a lie but she smelled of dirt and the forest.
Zaran, his Beta, was approaching and he saw Lynell hug the pup closer as if it would be taken from her.
“That’s just my Beta. You are safe.”
As Zaran stood before them, “Alpha, what is going on?”
“I’m not sure yet. For now we are protecting this female and her pup.”
“Very well. I’ll continue your patrol.”
“Good.” Zaran left and Drew ushered Lynell inside. The kitchen smelled of sausage, eggs, bacon and toast. Aisley was cooking breakfast. He had brought Aisley with him when he was moved. She had been his house female for years. The second she saw Lynell and the pup she rushed around the island.
(c) 2016 Jessica Dewater
Have a great month and enjoy life's little things!
Monday, July 11, 2016
New Aeon Timeline
Over the past few weeks I found I wanted to upgrade to Aeon Timeline 2. I love the first version so I used my cigarette money to buy the new version. I can't be happier with my decision. Not only do I smoke less I have another awesome tool to organize my writing and plots.
Downloading Aeon2 (Aeon Timeline 2) was simple. I learned you can keep the first version and projects for them. When saving a current project you can save it as a new one and keep the older version. This is what I have done.
Aeon2 still has the original features such as ability to create your own times (years, dates, etc.), create your own templates, ability to link to sites & pictures, Arcs, ability to see ages of participants in an event, and the ease of navigation
A new feature I like is the different skins available. I'm hooked on the the 'Dark' theme as you can see below.
*If you give an entity a date of birth, Aeon Timeline will calculate that entity’s age for each event they are associated with, allowing you to quickly see someone’s age at important events in their life.
*In Aeon Timeline 2, you can select which entity type to group by (e.g. Person, Project, Arc, Location).
You can see below that it has a type of nesting, it's called 'Parenting' and 'Dependencies'. I have not used different Arcs yet except for birth/death and global. Since I'm writing a series, the global Arc keeps the timeline completely visible for me. Later I'll move them to different Arcs, after I have played around more.
Another feature I use a lot is the ability to see ages of characters at a certain event. This is perfect since my characters' ages span over a million years. Below is an example.
The 'Manage Entities' is great. I can add Arcs & characters. With the characters you can add date of birth and date of death & link it to an event like below. I put all Birth & Dates in their own Arc as in picture 5.
Well, it's time for me to get back to writing. I hope this helps you decide if Aeon2 is right for you.
*Sited from aeontimeline.com
Downloading Aeon2 (Aeon Timeline 2) was simple. I learned you can keep the first version and projects for them. When saving a current project you can save it as a new one and keep the older version. This is what I have done.
Aeon2 still has the original features such as ability to create your own times (years, dates, etc.), create your own templates, ability to link to sites & pictures, Arcs, ability to see ages of participants in an event, and the ease of navigation
A new feature I like is the different skins available. I'm hooked on the the 'Dark' theme as you can see below.
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| Picture 1 |
Aeon2 states the following on features.
*Events are displayed graphically on the timeline with a title, date, and duration, but you can associate a lot of additional meta-data with an event, including colors, tags (keywords), notes, completion status, and other user-definable fields.*If you give an entity a date of birth, Aeon Timeline will calculate that entity’s age for each event they are associated with, allowing you to quickly see someone’s age at important events in their life.
*In Aeon Timeline 2, you can select which entity type to group by (e.g. Person, Project, Arc, Location).
You can see below that it has a type of nesting, it's called 'Parenting' and 'Dependencies'. I have not used different Arcs yet except for birth/death and global. Since I'm writing a series, the global Arc keeps the timeline completely visible for me. Later I'll move them to different Arcs, after I have played around more.
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| Picture 2 |
Another feature I use a lot is the ability to see ages of characters at a certain event. This is perfect since my characters' ages span over a million years. Below is an example.
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| Picture 3 |
The 'Manage Entities' is great. I can add Arcs & characters. With the characters you can add date of birth and date of death & link it to an event like below. I put all Birth & Dates in their own Arc as in picture 5.
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| Picture 4 |
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| Picture 5 |
Well, it's time for me to get back to writing. I hope this helps you decide if Aeon2 is right for you.
*Sited from aeontimeline.com
Monday, June 20, 2016
Dalara
Introduction to Dalara
Creation
In 4779bc six shifters were created; they could take any form. Wolf, leopard and panther were the ones they preferred. When they bred they had whatever species they were at the time of conception. Nathaniel, Vera, James, Abraham, Lorily, and Margret were their names. The Firsts could take any mammal form. Nathaniel lived the longest and was the most powerful of the six. As the race expanded they became ‘Council’, the ruling govern. They made laws and punished those who broke them, usually physical punishment. Numbers have dropped and new wolves are not coming. Many abilities were lost since humans population increased rapidly.
Over the years powers and abilities have disappeared. Zacharius is the only one left with all but ‘True-Mate’ Sensing.
©2016 Jessica Markley
©2016 Jessica Markley
Friday, June 17, 2016
Back At It Finally
It had been over a year since I have posted here. I feel like I've been gone for over a decade.
This year my little girl graduated middle school. In the fall my baby girl will begin her chapter of High School. It makes me feel old.
After my son moved out I had to move from a 3 bedroom to a 2 bedroom. Yep, that's right. I live in low income housing and 1 adult and 1 kid only gets a 2 bedroom, which I understand. I had to move on one of the hottest days last August. It about killed me. Now I'm in an apartment 2/3 smaller. I had to downsize a lot. After almost a year, we have finally settled in and I'm somewhat organized.
When my son moved out, quickly, I hadn't had time to adjust the loss of child support so I lost my internet and had to fork over a huge deposit for the 2 bedroom.
This month I finally am caught up and have enough stashed to pay 6 months of bills. That means internet too!!! It has been a long road but I have made it this far and my stress level has lowered. Well, after yesterday.
Monday, I was to have internet. Well, the UPS driver decided, himself, that I needed to sign for the modem and he had come while I was gone. This, even after I called Friday to verify I didn't need to be here. I called the second I got home, they sent a message to the driver and he was not in the area. That meant I had to pay the neighbor to take me to pick it up. The office is 32 miles from my apartment.
When I got home I had to wait until 8pm. At about 8:30pm I plugged the modem and all that crap in....
It didn't work!
I call the internet company, they would send a tech out in the morning. So after waiting a year and getting my hopes up, I had to wait. These events sent me into a rage episode. I threw a bunch of things and put a whole in the wall AGAIN!
Tuesday morning the tech was here 9 minutes after the 9am-noon arrival time. In 10 minutes he had my internet up and running.
Guess what the problem was...
When they remodeled my apartment they hooked up all the phone jacks up backwards! WTF!!!
Friday he came back and replaced the jack. Hmm... still dropping internet for about a minute ever hours. Internet is still dropping out for a minute every so often which means the tech will be back on Monday to check the outside line.
I am online and getting back into my routine. Yes, I can live without internet in my home but once I was up and running a weight lifted off me. Probably because now my daughter won't complain all the time about not having WiFi.
Another thing that has me ticked a bit. My AC (air conditioner) leaks in the apartment and has since I moved in here last August. They have to replace the wall box it sits in. They ordered it finally two weeks ago. Guess what, it's back-ordered. So, last year I had to deal with it leaking cause I wasn't going to deal with the dry heat when we had it. This year wasps decided to build a lovely nest, so no AC right now. Luckily one of my neighbors let me stay in her apartment even when she's gone.
Working on @GetWordies writathon for CampNaNoWriMo next month. I can't wait to start my project July 1st. It's another project that has been haunting me for months. I'll be post excepts from past WIP (work in progress), Jasper's Mate, soon on my page 'My Writings'.
The last year has been hectic and then some.
My son graduated high school last spring. He moved in with his dad, did 1 year of college and now decided to just work full-time. He has already gotten a raise in only 2 weeks!!!As of now I'm dealing with the fallout of his father trying to disown him. Yeah for me!This year my little girl graduated middle school. In the fall my baby girl will begin her chapter of High School. It makes me feel old.
After my son moved out I had to move from a 3 bedroom to a 2 bedroom. Yep, that's right. I live in low income housing and 1 adult and 1 kid only gets a 2 bedroom, which I understand. I had to move on one of the hottest days last August. It about killed me. Now I'm in an apartment 2/3 smaller. I had to downsize a lot. After almost a year, we have finally settled in and I'm somewhat organized.
When my son moved out, quickly, I hadn't had time to adjust the loss of child support so I lost my internet and had to fork over a huge deposit for the 2 bedroom.
This month I finally am caught up and have enough stashed to pay 6 months of bills. That means internet too!!! It has been a long road but I have made it this far and my stress level has lowered. Well, after yesterday.
Monday, I was to have internet. Well, the UPS driver decided, himself, that I needed to sign for the modem and he had come while I was gone. This, even after I called Friday to verify I didn't need to be here. I called the second I got home, they sent a message to the driver and he was not in the area. That meant I had to pay the neighbor to take me to pick it up. The office is 32 miles from my apartment.
When I got home I had to wait until 8pm. At about 8:30pm I plugged the modem and all that crap in....
It didn't work!
I call the internet company, they would send a tech out in the morning. So after waiting a year and getting my hopes up, I had to wait. These events sent me into a rage episode. I threw a bunch of things and put a whole in the wall AGAIN!
Tuesday morning the tech was here 9 minutes after the 9am-noon arrival time. In 10 minutes he had my internet up and running.
Guess what the problem was...
When they remodeled my apartment they hooked up all the phone jacks up backwards! WTF!!!
Friday he came back and replaced the jack. Hmm... still dropping internet for about a minute ever hours. Internet is still dropping out for a minute every so often which means the tech will be back on Monday to check the outside line.
I am online and getting back into my routine. Yes, I can live without internet in my home but once I was up and running a weight lifted off me. Probably because now my daughter won't complain all the time about not having WiFi.
Another thing that has me ticked a bit. My AC (air conditioner) leaks in the apartment and has since I moved in here last August. They have to replace the wall box it sits in. They ordered it finally two weeks ago. Guess what, it's back-ordered. So, last year I had to deal with it leaking cause I wasn't going to deal with the dry heat when we had it. This year wasps decided to build a lovely nest, so no AC right now. Luckily one of my neighbors let me stay in her apartment even when she's gone.
Working on @GetWordies writathon for CampNaNoWriMo next month. I can't wait to start my project July 1st. It's another project that has been haunting me for months. I'll be post excepts from past WIP (work in progress), Jasper's Mate, soon on my page 'My Writings'.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
It's MAY!
It's May and it's going to be a very long month. I have my son's graduation, many more disability appointments, getting my daughter ready for braces and cooking healthier with less money. Then you need to add writing and cleaning.
Today I have begun making all homemade broths for one-pot meals. I am saving over $40 by making my own. I am enjoying getting back to cooking like my great-great aunt did. With my girl wanting more vegetarian meals veggie broth is my largest batch. And thanks to my ex-mother-in-law, I now have a 12 quart stock pot to make it easier. It's what she got me for an early Mother's Day present.
A few recipes I'm making are the following:
Spinach & Artichoke One Pot (my girl's fav)
Chicken, Orzo, & Spinach
Vegan Pasta
Chicken Lo Mein
I have found that eating healthier is costing me more money when it comes to fresh vegetables. How are we suppose to eat fresh like The First Lady wants when many can't afford it. A head of cauliflower is $3 and carrots are $2 but if I bought frozen it would be half of that here. The prices of onions have been slowly increasing as well as tomatoes, and all fruit.
My son's graduation open house is the 23rd and his graduation is the 24th. I still can't believe he's graduating already. I still think he's my lil' boy but since he has been living with his father (half the time) for 2 months now, he has grown up so much. I didn't want him to live there but it seems to be a good choice.
I am a proud mother of a 17 year old graduating son!
I have completed another CampNaNo in April. With just over 51k of my 50k goal. Of course my OCD kicked in and I have started it over. I have finished WIP-2 (the 1st in series). It'll be going off to a beta reader in the next few weeks. I'm excited yet nervous.
I am also 9 books ahead on my Goodreads reading challenge. Having read 34 of the 75 I pledged. I re-read Bayou Heat series and Guardians of Eternity series. Now I'm working on Sookie Stackhouse (aka True Blood) re-read.
A few recipes I'm making are the following:
Spinach & Artichoke One Pot (my girl's fav)
Chicken, Orzo, & Spinach
Vegan Pasta
Chicken Lo Mein
I have found that eating healthier is costing me more money when it comes to fresh vegetables. How are we suppose to eat fresh like The First Lady wants when many can't afford it. A head of cauliflower is $3 and carrots are $2 but if I bought frozen it would be half of that here. The prices of onions have been slowly increasing as well as tomatoes, and all fruit.
I am a proud mother of a 17 year old graduating son!
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Life is a Roller Coaster!
I have been a single mom since my oldest was 2 years old, though those two years felt like I was the only parent too. So, lets say I've been a single parent for almost 18 years now. I know that my son will start college in the fall and will move out. That's a given. I know this, I expect this.
Two weeks later my son refuses to come home because he's scared of me, I beat him... I have never nor would I ever. I agreed to let him stay 1 more night and I cried the whole night. Next morning I start making phone calls. After finding a way to stay where I'm living with my girl and how I'd pay bills I called my lawyer. Then I called his dad and explained what I was willing to do. Joint custody with joint equal placement and no child support. The money was his issue of course.
It's a 35 minute drive to his dad's from the school. Really! With gas prices has high as they are, I didn't like it. Not to mention I had planned my money out so I could manage after graduation not that minute.
I've cried. I've wished for my mommy (passed 2003), I wished for my grandpa (passed 1995) and I screamed, yelled and hit the door. Yeah I have to replace it now. The last week I have been up, down, and up again. My emotions were all over the place.
Plus, my son's dad is finding out how a teenager acts that doesn't take his medication and how difficult it is to punish him. Another bonus is that I will not have to pay for college, graduation party or any of that. It's all on his dad.
I have found support through Twitter and my friends on there, many writers. They have helped walk me through this. Guided me to a place that I am able to handle the situation better. Given me the strength to work on my CampNaNoWriMo project and smile. They have been my rock.
Now, working on my WIP-4 for CampNaNo, I find I have chosen am emotional character. One that issues from my younger years will come to light. I'm continuing it whether or not it makes me cry.
Background:
My son's father has had almost nothing to do with him in the last 15 years. Maybe 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there, but that's about it. One year I totaled it together and it was four hours that year he saw my son. His father paid child support on time every week and was never late (bonus, many don't have that). The last 6 months his father has been seeing him every weekend. (I knew there was a plan)Current:
Two months ago my son comes to me and says he's moving in with his dad when school is out. Okay, thinking that it would change in a month. (Dad isn't one to stick to things, more like cause disappointment). March comes and his dad calls me to discuss my son moving in with him. Wooooo! Hold the train. after talking for an hour, I agreed to allow it after graduation (May 24th). A week later my son says he's packing so he can take all of his stuff to his dad's. That is 10 weeks early. He continues to argue saying dad said I could move now. Well, doing what a good mom does, I called his dad. No, he hadn't told my son he could move NOW! Typical teen playing the parents. That got all settled. He'd be moving out May 23rd.Two weeks later my son refuses to come home because he's scared of me, I beat him... I have never nor would I ever. I agreed to let him stay 1 more night and I cried the whole night. Next morning I start making phone calls. After finding a way to stay where I'm living with my girl and how I'd pay bills I called my lawyer. Then I called his dad and explained what I was willing to do. Joint custody with joint equal placement and no child support. The money was his issue of course.
It's a 35 minute drive to his dad's from the school. Really! With gas prices has high as they are, I didn't like it. Not to mention I had planned my money out so I could manage after graduation not that minute.
Fallout:
I feel as if I have failed my son. I thought I gave him everything he needed.Now I see I haven't. He has been the one kid I had 95% of the time and I'm lost. Those few months before he turns 18 (end of August) were the months I was going to let go a bit at a time. Now I don't have that.I've cried. I've wished for my mommy (passed 2003), I wished for my grandpa (passed 1995) and I screamed, yelled and hit the door. Yeah I have to replace it now. The last week I have been up, down, and up again. My emotions were all over the place.
Plus Side:
On to the plus side... I noticed that my girl and I have been more talkative since the move. We have planned meals that my son would NEVER eat and we had mommy/daughter time more than ever before. She's had always been a daddy's girl until the last year. Now she's a mommy's girl and I'm grateful for this time.Plus, my son's dad is finding out how a teenager acts that doesn't take his medication and how difficult it is to punish him. Another bonus is that I will not have to pay for college, graduation party or any of that. It's all on his dad.
I have found support through Twitter and my friends on there, many writers. They have helped walk me through this. Guided me to a place that I am able to handle the situation better. Given me the strength to work on my CampNaNoWriMo project and smile. They have been my rock.
Now, working on my WIP-4 for CampNaNo, I find I have chosen am emotional character. One that issues from my younger years will come to light. I'm continuing it whether or not it makes me cry.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
April 2015 CampNaNoWriMo Preparation
Camp is just 20 days away.
Time to make preparations. Many things to do.
Even though my kids are teens and can fend for themselves mostly; I plan snacks for them. I cut up fresh fruit, veggies and make yogurt dip up weekly. Putting them in airtight containers for easy grabbing.
For simple easy meals; I pre-cut & pre-slice up everything for subs, sandwiches & tacos. Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, olives, and anything else they want.
As normal procedure I make up freezer crockpot meals & cook all hamburger I'll need at the first of the month. Usually doing the following:
- Chicken & Beef Fajitas (1 each)
- Sweet-N-Sour Meatballs (2)
- Mongolian Beef (2)
- Taco Meat (3)
- Brown Sugar Chicken Thighs (1)
- Hamburger with garlic & onion for Goulash & Spaghetti (4)
- Chunky Beef Stew (1)
- Pepper Steak (2)
- Pineapple Pork Roast (1)
- Teriyaki Pork Chops (1)
- Buffalo Chicken Meatballs (1)
- Cheesey Broccoli Ham and Potatoes (1)
You can find many of these recipes on my Pinterest. FOOD! & Freezer meals! Below is a sample of my menus. Most crockpot meals can be frozen so all you have to do is thaw and toss in.
Then for quick grab breakfasts I make up tons of pancakes, sausage links & bacon. Freeze them on cookie sheets then place pancakes and a meat in a freezer bag or foodsave them. Kids just grab slice open and heat for 1 minutes 30 seconds. I also bake muffins on Sundays.
As for writing snacks and other kid snacks I make up spinach/artichoke dip, marshmallow treats, dill oyster crackers, and of course cupcakes, cheesecake, and brownies. My girl will make cookies at least once a month so we have those as well.
Writing Preparation
I do the following:
- Drag series template from last Scrivener project to a new project. Makes it so easy to be able to easily drag all character & place info and notes over.
- Plan plots and twists (until characters change it all up)
- Add an arc to Aeon Timeline for new novel in series (gives all series timeline in 1 place)
- Figure out a few new characters to toss in. Supportive one.
- Make up Writing Month Chore Chart for the kids. They are an extra help in April, July and November. I won't have to do much.
- Clean up all 3 of my writing spaces (my desk, kitchen table & my favorite chair).
- Read through the last in the series I was working on (so to remember small details)
- Chart possible emotions that will be displayed (I have a hard time with these)
After all that...
I write up a list of things I can manage in the writing sprints 10 minute breaks.
- Start a load of laundry
- Switch laundry
- Fold a load of laundry
- Soak dishes
- Wash a load of dishes
- Vacuum a room
- Sweep floors
- Clean toilet
- Dust half a room
- Scrub stove & counters
You get the idea. Quick chores that can done in minutes. Plus you get bathroom breaks and refill snacks & drinks time.
Now is the time to prepare! How do you get ready for a month of writing? Post in comments.
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