Disappearing Into My Own World

As this month comes to an end, I look at all I have accomplished. Finishing NaNoWrimo was at the top of my list. That and fall cleaning my apartment. Now I'm feeling the loss of my mom. After 11 years you would think I'd function better than I am. Last year I did great, better than any other year. Now I'm struggling. I think it's because this year the dates are lined up as they were in 2003. Mom's birthday would have been the 14th and she died on the 28th, the day after Thanksgiving.

To make matters worse, I have people complaining that I'm refusing to go to any Turkey Day dinners (my kids are though). I don't like to socialize as it is, what makes them think I want to spend time with ones that remind me this time of year is my mom loved. I just want to drown in my writings. Writing helps me deal with all the stresses that come from being a single mother with little money.

I'm editing 'Dalara' and working on one without a title. No, it's not my NaNo one. The plot bunnies (something that keeps your mind running with ideas) are making it hard not to start another one. I have no idea where it's going but I'm liking it so far. I think it'll be the 3rd in the 'Tamesville' series.

As the weather here in Iowa grows cold snowy and windy, I am hurting. Many of my joints are inflamed, causing me pain. I wish I had the money to move south. My health gets worse as the temps drop and I can barely function. I hate not being able to do things with my kids. We usually sit watch Neflix or a movie, if we do anything at all together. They are gone over school breaks and weekends; Busy with friends and sports every other time.  At times I feel as if I'm failing them. Then I think other times I'm doing good. Neither of my teens lie, drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything teens experiment with. Curfews are always kept.

I signed up with Critique Circle. It's a web based site set up to help writers achieve their goals and better their writing. This will be a major step for me. I'm one who does not like other to read my work until my OCD thinks it perfect. My fear is as many new writers, the novel sucks. Hoping joining will push me past this.

I hope everyone has a happy holiday.

10 Days and I'm Done

As there is 10 days left for NaNoWriMo, I have passed the 50k mark. Only a day behind last year. For the last week I had been struggling to get there. Now that I've hit goal, I have all these plot bunnies running in my head. With them in there I now have 2 more ideas for novels. Yeah, not like I don't have to finish the 2 I have almost finished.

As for editing, I'm working on the 1st in the Tamesville Series. Hoping to get 'Dalara' to my beta-reader by the first of the year. Then publish by March. I have my doubts it will be any good or even sell. Never hurts to try. I'll be blogging about the process once I get there.

With the holidays coming, it's time to slow my pace down and relax. I plan on writing on Thanksgiving and Christmas since I stay home while the kiddos see family. We will have a combo meal the 1st weekend of December; turkey, ham and all the fixings.  My house is still pretty much clean and so it's food prepping I will have to do.

Writer's Stuck?!?!?!

Behind is not where I wanted to be. I wanted over 35k words written for NaNoWriMo and I'm stuck at 21k. Though I am ahead of the 1667 words daily, it is frustrating. I know The storyline, my characters changed it a bit but nothing I can't handle.

So, why did I refuse to write for 3 days? I thought it was because my Main character decided to switch the man she would end up with. That had worked itself out the first night I didn't write. I wrote for 13 hours with #WriteClub at @FriNightWrites Thursday and then stopped.
Maybe an overload? I wrote so much in that time I might have fried some neurons.

Maybe my normal November depression is hitting? Yeah, i miss my mom but it's not as bad this year, at least I don't think it is. It's for her that I participate in NaNoWriMo. Her love for reading was more than anyone I know. She would have a book in her hands 24/7 if she could have. There was on in her purse, one in the car, one by her bed and of course one in her hand. SHe could read, watch TV and eat all at once. I've never mastered that nor do I think I will. SO, All in all I don't think it's depression.

With 20 days left I believe I can make it to 50k plus more, hopefully. I'm not very optimistic. Never have been never will be.

On a good note, I met an author that wants to read my dribble when it's done. Not going to hold my breath to hear it's good.. I know it sucks but I write it any way. Why, you ask. Hmm... good question.
I guess to leave the real world behind and hide within mine. I have total control over it (for the most part) and Nothing bad happens to me.

I guess that's all for now. I'm hoping to get back here before the end of the month.