First Post of The Year

The last several months have been hell on earth in my life. I have made progress in coping with everything.

Anxiety level dropped yesterday when I found out the cysts in my breasts are just that and not cancer 🙌. The thought of cancer had me shaking and anxious for the last 4 months.

Money 💰is still an issue since my hearing for disability isn't for at least another 6 months. The process is long and dragged out but I understand. I know many people that have tried to get it and are able to work. The process saves tax payers money and keeps lazy people off of it. There it is the word 'lazy'. The last few months I have been called that for not working. HA! If I could work I would. There are days I wish my illnesses away just so I can get a paycheck I earned. Yes, that's right, I want to work. Doctors tell me it's not possible. My legs keep swelling, my arthritis is in more joints than before, my anger & rage is not always under control & my anxiety around people is worse. The pain of it every day gets worse but I manage. I could work, my opinion, not the doctors. If I even try to get a job it's blocked by several of my doctors. Then you have the people that say 'why didn't you fight it before now?' Well, I didn't have enough wrong with me to fight with appeals and that would have made it impossible to apply for disability until 2019.

Enough of that. My writing has been slow and a chore. Today is the first day since Nov. 20th 2016 that I have been able to write and I can see my skills are a little slacking. I'm going to push myself to write tonight and every day for the next 30 days. I want to write at least 500 words a day. In preparation today I set up my faithful Aeon Timeline 2© for the new story-line and I have many ideas written down in a notebook📒. Scrivener© is set up as well. Now all I need to do is put those notes into a story. Easier said than done. My mind won't focus for long periods of time and the words don't seem to come. I can picture the scenes in my head but the words are lost. Here is what I know:

• How the species🐺 began
• First 18 chapters of characters
• When it starts (2011)
• Ages of characters (18-20,000+yrs old)
• What is happening in the first 2 chapters
• The species' history
• Laws
• Hierarchy

What I need to know:

• Professions of characters
• Likes & dislikes of characters
• Ceremonies' process

Once I have that I should be able to write it without many issues. Though my mind keeps jumping back to the previous series I was working on. This new one has no connection to that series and is making it hard.

NaNoWriMo Has Started

As with every November 1st, I am knee deep in words. 50,000 words in 30 days is challenging but fun. Though this year is hard. Not only has my 19 year old son decided to stay with me until he can find an apartment my daughter is having depression issues as well. Here's the rundown:

Kiddo-1 moved in with a girl he knew for only 2 months, that lasted 2 weeks. He is bipolar, un-medicated at that. He's not really being adultish, tossing fits when I tell him he has to buy things for the house or help with bills. My place looks like a tornado went thru here and the mess is causing my to lash out. Typical OCD/Bipolar even with meds. My dishes were ALL dirty yesterday and a friend came over and did them. This hadn't happened since kiddo-1 moved out.

Kiddo-2 is having episodes of depression and anxiety. She is now medicated, something I never thought I'd have to do with her. It's for the best I know but at first I felt like a failure. Her grades dropped for a few weeks. She is now back on track and it makes me feel better and she feels better.

For me it's stressful having kiddo-1 here but I can't let him sleep in his car. I am making it work the best I can. My issues are that I can't keep anything clean, can't write when kiddos are floating around this small 2 bedroom apartment and I have no space with kiddo-1's things all over the place. Add in that I have had to fill out paperwork for an apartment for him... in the building next to mine. He bitches when I have him sign papers. I had the offer to move back to the 3 bedroom but I can't handle an un-medicated bipolar in my home. All that is needed for him to move in is a bank statement and the apartment to be cleaned and painted. Hoping for move in date in 2 weeks if not sooner. Then I have to call the church and see if they can help with the deposit for him. All this and my normal issues, writing tons of words this month and trying to feed 3 when I have barely enough to feed 2. I tore a muscle and tendon in my shoulder so I have to be careful with my dominant arm.

Grocery shopping usually happens on the 2nd, today, but kiddo-1 had to work and my ex-mother-in-law broke her shoulder. So now I have to wait until I have a ride and someone to help carry everything in, up to the second floor. We have an apartment inspection next week which means I must clean the place OCD style and make sure we can find everything.

Now for my NaNoWriMo WIP (work in progress)... I'm ahead on it and feeling like it's gonna be good. Here's an excerpt....

Lynell was running through the woods as fast as she could carrying her young. She knew they were coming for her, to take the baby away and impregnate her again. They were using females as breeders and sending the young off. After weeks of planning she finally escaped with a few other females, though she hadn’t seen any of them for days. Another branch smacked her in the face while holding the little one as close to her body as she could. Stopping near a small stream Lynell inhaled trying to smell if they were still following her and if so how close. Sighing in relief, Lynell walked to the edge of the water. Setting the little one down on soft sandy bank, she drank the water as fast as she could. Not knowing when it’ll be available again. The water was icy since it was still spring and made her feel hopeful, if only for a second.
The little one started wailing, he was hungry. Lynell picked him up and put him to her breast. It was a good thing, she thought, that there was no looking for his food. She washed the cloth she was using as a diaper. Once done she closed her eyes hoping to get an hours rest. 
When Lynell woke, the sun had begin to peek over the horizon, she had slept for hours. Quickly feeding the little one she took off running again. With the sleep she got she was energized but had allowed those chasing her to get closer to her. Not that she knew if they were still after her. She couldn’t take the chance. 
Coming across an abandoned shed, Lynell hurried inside and found a old dusty bed. Knowing she shouldn’t leave the little one alone but needed to find herself some food; she placed him down and quietly left. It didn’t take her long to find water again. Shifting for the first time in days she managed to catch a few rabbits and returned to the shed in less than half an hour. Shifting back she curled up with the little one and fell asleep.

***********

An early morning run was one of Drew’s favorite things to do, plus he had to patrol his land. As Alpha of a small pack he needed to. After his relocation the Council, the ruling wolves, demanded; he was still getting used to the land and smells. Over three months and now the scents changed with spring coming. New growth, melting snow and more animals running around. When he first caught the scent he thought it was just a regular wolf or fox. Inhaling deeper he found it to be a wolf shifter. One not of his pack. Following the trail it led off his property. No shifter was allowed into an Alpha’s territory without permission, so he followed it. Just because his land ended didn’t mean his territory did. Five miles off property the scent was strong, only seconds old. Speeding up he lost it and ended up backtracking. Near an old falling down shed the scent was strong and the wolf was still there. That’s when he heard it, a baby cry. What the hell would a wolf bring a human baby out here, he thought. 
Shifting and slowly approaching the shed he, caught the scent, the baby was no human but a wolf pup. He didn’t want to scare the female, females were very protective of their young and she would try and fight him. Looking into what once held a window he saw a young female sleeping with the pup in her arms. She looked dirty and must have been exhausted because she hadn’t woken to his presence or the pup crying. 
Drew walked around to the door and crept in. Once standing above the female he used his Alpha commanding voice, “Get up!”
She jumped grabbing the pup and holding it close. Without looking up she tried to run. Drew cut her off and growled. She immediately dropped to her knees.
“What is your name female? And what are you doing in my territory?”
He watched the female clutch the pup even closer, almost squishing it to death.
“I am Lynell Lora Pritt, Alpha. I didn’t know I was in your territory, Alpha.”
“What are you doing out here with a pup so young?” He had noticed the pup was barely whelped or born as humans call it.
“Please don’t send me back, I beg of you.”
“What are you talking about? Your Alpha doesn’t know you left?”
“Please don’t. He’ll take my pup and mate me again.”
Drew was trying to put her words together so he understood them. Was she really saying her Alpha was raping her and steeling the pups? It was against law to mate with one under the age of twenty-two. This female was barely eighteen if he was judging correctly.
“Come, you need a shower, clean clothes and a meal.”
“You won’t send me back, Alpha?”
“Not until you tell me everything. Now come.”
He led led her back to the Alpha house. They didn’t talk. He was still trying to wrap his head around what she had said. Why would an Alpha do what she said? Was her story true or was it a lie. Usually he could sense a lie but she smelled of dirt and the forest. 
Zaran, his Beta, was approaching and he saw Lynell hug the pup closer as if it would be taken from her. 
“That’s just my Beta. You are safe.”
As Zaran stood before them, “Alpha, what is going on?”
“I’m not sure yet. For now we are protecting this female and her pup.”
“Very well. I’ll continue your patrol.”
“Good.” Zaran left and Drew ushered Lynell inside. The kitchen smelled of sausage, eggs, bacon and toast. Aisley was cooking breakfast. He had brought Aisley with him when he was moved. She had been his house female for years. The second she saw Lynell and the pup she rushed around the island.
(c) 2016 Jessica Dewater

Have a great month and enjoy life's little things!

NaNoWriMo Prep in Full Swing

Prepping for NaNoWriMo is hard for a pantser. With each step I want to write. I have my Aeon Timeline & Scrivener all set up. With each plot I come up with I get excited and want to write again. Research is done, as much as I can anyway. I think I learned more about weapons from the 1700's & 1800's than I learned about science in math in high school.

Here is my main planner steps.

• Figure out if it will be one of my series.
• Figure out what characters will be bouncing around. 
• Find character pictures for inspiration
• Make a playlist to get motivated
• Research whatever I think is needed.
• Try and find characters that will be in but on the sidelines.
• Take notes when something comes to mind.
• Name characters.
• Make out bios and back history for characters if needed.
• Plan meals.
• Plan snacks for my long days of writing.
• Get house cleaned so no distractions. 
• Set time limits for Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• Try not to write (hard as heck).

Here is what I wrote when I got up this morning. It has nothing to do with NaNoWriMo but I was inspired. It is political so beware. I usually don't post about politics but this one just came to me.

Morning Thoughts

I am NOT normal so this post won't be either.
HYPOTHETICALLY in the future....
Lets say I just got out of bed, my brain wanted to grab a penis. Not sure who's penis but non the less a penis.
Now lets say I actually left the house and saw a hot sweaty, sexy half dressed guy with a penis (most guys have them). This guy is just walking along, well more like strutting (you get the point). Say I walk over to him say 'Hi' & grab his penis. He doesn't like it and calls the police.
"Miss, what do you think you were doing? You can't go around grabbing a man's junk."
"Officer, President Donald Trump said grabbing pussy was okay so I grabbed me some penis."
"That is not what he said."
"Officer, I have all of his debates on my computer, a USB and burned to a disc."
"What you did was sexual harassment not 'locker room talk'."
"I see a half dressed sweaty guy right." I point to the guy. "He was just in a man's locker room, at least it looks like it to me."
"I see your point, you may go."
This teaches us that t's a two way street.
Just think men who want Trump as president, a disgusting drugged up female may just walk up to you and grab your penis. She'd get away with it.
Women just think a nasty, dirty, drugged out guy could walk up to you daughters and grab them some pussy and of course he'd get away with it.
Get your heads out of your asses and see the truth.

That's it for politics.

Now to planning more. I want to get a few more secondary characters bios done. So off I go.